Being a high achiever has its perks: people admire your drive, your passion, and your ability to stay ahead in everything you do. On paper, it looks so perfect; you’ve got your passion and you’ve got your accomplishments, but if you look closely, you’d see the mind constantly racing.
Listening to the song “Are You Satisfied?” by MARINA, I could really picture the mindset of someone who is always striving for something, the unstoppable drive, and the urge to succeed. At first, MARINA’s lyrics sound confident, unstoppable. But beneath the bravado, I hear the exhaustion, the pressure to always perform, and the quiet loneliness of being ahead. Being a high achiever usually means sacrificing your free time, social memories, and even relationships for the sake of your dream.
It always seemed like a paradox to me. You’re praised for being ahead and achieving something, yet every achievement becomes a benchmark for what’s next. More expectations keep building, and when you fail to do what was expected, it all seems to crumble down, and the satisfaction slips through your fingers each time. You chase grades, awards, internships, leadership roles, and social recognition, but the chase itself can become addictive, almost like a drug, leaving your mind racing even when your body wants rest.
Before you know it, the thrill of achieving fades away, and all that’s left is the urge to chase the next new thing.
Caught in the desire loop.
If ambition is your engine, then desire is your fuel, and it never runs out. No matter how “big” a person becomes, the desire to always be greater than what you already are will always remain. Achieved something big? Before the pride even settles, you have the next goal to chase. Completed that assignment? There’s another due tomorrow. Landed an internship? There’s someone higher than you on that ladder. Received praise? Someone else got more applause. It’s a cycle. A loop of constant chase and a sphere that makes even success feel hollow.
Social media definitely intensifies this loop. Every scroll is a reminder of how someone else is ahead, achieving something more, living bigger. Seeing friends, classmates, colleagues, strangers — they all blend into a constant reminder that someone is always ahead, no matter how much you chase ahead.
At this point, achievements don’t feel like milestones, but stepping stones into the next achievement, the next “what if?”
It’s the internal conflict, too. Every win comes with its own set of self-doubts. “Was that enough? Could I have tried harder?” The wins become meaningless, and the success feels empty. This cycle of wanting, achieving, and wanting again has emotional consequences. Restlessness becomes a constant companion, gratitude fades, and burnout feels like a badge of honour in a world that glorifies constant hustle.
Desire isn’t inherently wrong, but when it becomes a treadmill, spinning faster than we can keep up, it stops being motivating and starts being exhausting. It’s a cycle worth noticing because only when we pause can we start to ask: “Why am I chasing this? What am I missing while I chase?”
The fear of being average.
Ambition and desire push us forward, but there’s another, quieter force at play: the fear of being average. It’s not always loud or dramatic, but it shapes choices in a subtle way like what classes we take, which clubs we join, how much we push ourselves academically or socially. That fear isn’t just about failing; it’s about blending in, going unnoticed, or living a life that feels ordinary when you secretly crave extraordinary.
That fear of being ordinary is the reason we pour ourselves into goals and why we always chase something more. But rather than seeing it as purely negative, I’ve started to notice how it can also guide reflection. It forces you to ask questions: what do I actually want? What parts of these ambitions are truly mine, and what parts are shaped by comparison and competition?
The fear of being average can be uncomfortable, but it can also be clarifying. It highlights what matters to us personally, rather than what society says should matter. Maybe it’s the reason you finally choose a path, take a risk, or try something you thought was beyond your reach. It can spark curiosity, creativity, and courage if you let it.
MARINA’S song “Are You Satisfied?” feels especially relevant here because no one truly is ever satisfied. But it’s less about measuring yourself against everyone else and more about examining how your choices align with your own values. Facing the fear of being average isn’t about running from it, but rather it’s about noticing it, learning from it, and deciding for yourself what kind of life feels meaningful.
Ultimately, the fear of being average doesn’t have to be a cage. It can be a compass. It can be your inspiration. The challenge is letting it guide, not control, and letting it coexist with ambition and desire in a way that’s thoughtful and deliberate.
Want more such deep-dives on mental health, campus chatter, or anything else on your mind? Check out Her Campus at MUJ. And for a tour in my corner — Anushka Singh at HCMUJ.