What does it feel like when your dreams don’t come true? It feels like shit, honestly. For years, I have been dreaming of Madrid. It was my dream city, my future home, and quite literally where I imagined spending the rest of my life. Now, I can’t wait to go back home to Michigan. What went wrong?
The sad truth is that nothing actually went wrong. I came to Madrid in early May for a study abroad trip and I will be here until the end of July. It has only been about three weeks but I am already tired, drained, and yearning for some familiarity. Nothing particularly challenging has happened to me, but I can’t help but feel sad and exhausted here. It took a two hour conversation on a random city bench with my two friends to realize the issue.
The issue was that my dreams didn’t come true. My dream city, Madrid, hasn’t lived up to the romanticized image in my head. I’m having serious culture conflicts, the language barrier is difficult, and I feel like I’m wasting away my money on nothing. Now, I can’t imagine living here for the rest of my life. I seriously miss my home in Michigan, my friends, and my parents.
So, what do you do then? What do you do when your dreams don’t come true?
You grow.
Growing is tough. Believe me, growing is not the answer I wanted to hear from my friends on that bench, but it is so necessary. I had my catharsis that night, and I realized that younger me would be so proud of me right now. Not because I traveled to her dream city, but because I realized that it’s no longer what I want anymore. I understand myself better, and I (kind of) understand what I want out of my life now. It’s okay to not have everything figured out, but it’s not okay to stay stagnant.
When your dreams don’t come true, you need to recognize that happiness won’t come to you on a silver plate. Happiness, and more so contentment, only comes when you grow. So, don’t be afraid to grow when things don’t happen as you thought they should. Don’t be afraid to cry it out and scream at the world for a bit; trust me, I get it. Just keep going and keep growing. New dreams will always come, and there’s always room in life to keep exploring your dreams and desires. Grow through what you go through. We got this.