I recently turned 22, and every year I like to do some self-reflecting. To be honest, I self-reflect throughout the year, but I jumble all those self-reflections together at the end of the year and am able to analyze my life from a big-picture perspective. For example, a smaller goal I have throughout the year is to revise and work on my novels. By the end of the year, I can see all the revising and writing that I’ve done, and it makes me feel accomplished. Smaller goals are what keep me going, and it’s awesome getting to see the long-term effects of them. While I am a very career-oriented person and hitting goals is a big thing I strive for, I want to focus on other life lessons that I’ve learned that aren’t necessarily academic. I feel like we are always so busy with life that we forget about the seeds we planted in the beginning of the year. I had a lot of seeds grow this past year and I am excited to share them.
The first seed is one that was planted in me a couple years ago, but that didn’t sink in until this year. It has to do with humility. For the longest time, I’ve always been told that it’s important to own up to your mistakes and be honest when you fall. I’ve always agreed with humility, but it wasn’t really until this year that I was able to take ownership of things and incorporate humility into my life in a way that didn’t punish myself. I’ve been able to reorient how I think about an area where I messed up and see it as a chance to get better. It’s really hard to see ourselves in a negative light or to take criticism without assuming if one part of us messed up, then so must be the rest – but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I think acknowledging that mistakes are normal has helped me the most because I saw it as something essential, something that was making me a better person.
Another seed that has developed is self-care. This year, I took some tasks off my plate so that I could have more time to explore new hobbies and spend time with friends. I never realized just how precious those little moments doing nothing and laughing about meaningless things are. It hit me that I’m going to graduate soon, so I got better at living in the moment. I’m a planner and I used to be all about planning in social time as if it was a chore, but I’ve been more spontaneous this year with doing fun things, and it’s something I wish I had done sooner. For the first time in a long time, I could feel the kid in me. I feel like as we age we lose our inner child, but if we keep it, I think it’s what makes the difference between a happy person and a dissatisfied one.
Another seed I’ll share is appreciating family. My brother and sister are twins, and this was their first year of college. All the kids are officially moved out of my house, and the more I experience things, the more grateful I am for my childhood. When I was a kid, I was sheltered in the little town I grew up in, and until I went out on my own, I didn’t realize all my parents had done for me. Finally seeing my family and being able to genuinely tell them I appreciated all they’ve done is such a thing to express. My mom sends GIFs to me every morning, and it honestly helps me have a good start to the day. I feel like society tends to focus on the negatives of life, such as relationships that drift apart over time, and we rarely talk about the ones that grow closer. I start to think about the first 22 years of my life, and 18 of them were spent with my family – 18! That’s a lot. My parents have shaped me into who I am today and having their encouragement and all of that has helped me so much.
One last seed I’ve nurtured is patience. I’ve been so rushed for most of my life. I pressured myself to be a published author by age 16 – and to find the love of my life at that age, too. I took every rejection so personally. But now, I have a folder that says, “people who will regret rejecting me someday” and I look at it more positively. I’ve gotten used to rejections and just keep going. I also want to learn as much as I can before I get published, so there’s no point in rushing. I want my book to be in good shape so it can help people in the best way.
I need the time to learn before I can get there, and so I’ve learned that all this time isn’t just waiting time. It’s time that I’m working on my craft so that I can get to my goal. Every second I spend even thinking about writing counts. Also, when I wasn’t rushing dating, I found a pretty great guy that fits me well and has similar life aspirations, so it seems that enjoying life not for the result, but for the process, is the biggest seed I’ve planted. There are so many times in life when you can’t physically achieve the goal you want, but the progress you made and the lessons you learn from all that effort and hard work are still worth celebrating.
In conclusion, there will always be more to learn every year of my life. Even when I’m in my 90s, I’ll still be learning, because that’s what life is about. It doesn’t matter if you try to get ahead and finish your tasks, you’ll just have more come up. There will never be a time you aren’t working on something with yourself. It’s why I enjoy life. I can’t wait to keep learning more and more in the coming years.