College, for me, has so far been filled with amazing memories, people, and opportunities. Being on my own has felt exciting, freeing, and scary all wrapped up into one. However, there are times when I miss living at home, especially when I remember what I no longer have access to at school.
Firstly, I miss my mom. I miss how I could just walk across the hallway to her room to hug her and watch movies together after a long day at school. I miss how she would cut up fruit into my designated bowl and bring it upstairs to me when I was busy studying for a calculus test, catching up on ‘Othello’ for AP Literature, or working on any other homework that was assigned to me. But mostly, I miss her presence, whether that was taking trips to our local thrift stores to buy things we don’t need, or asking her how her day at work was over dinner.
I also miss driving. I miss being able to roll my windows down on late night drives during the summer with friends and feeling the warm wind running across my face. I miss being able to blast music as I cruised down the freeway to my best friend’s house with two fruit smoothies from Wawa waiting for us in the cup holders. I miss waking up at the crack of dawn to drive to a nearby park to watch the sunrise with my friends. I miss driving through Skyline Drive with my fall playlist blasting and watching the different shades of orange, red, and yellow paint the world around me.
I miss my brother. I miss being able to run across the hall to his room and barging in (after knocking of course) to show him a silly TikTok I thought he would find funny. I miss running errands with him and being rewarded for coming along with a medium Dunkin’ strawberry dragonfruit refresher and some Munchkins right before we headed home. I miss calling him on my way home from work during the summer to tell him that he “would not believe what happened at work today.” I miss asking him to fill up my gas tank for me and him complaining that I am “perfectly capable of doing it myself” before going to Costco to fill my tank up..
Finally, I miss being able to call my home “home.” Even Google Maps thinks my “home” is my dorm hall here in East Lansing. It almost doesn’t feel right to call my house back in Virginia my “home” when I only spend 3 months out of the whole year there. I feel as though I’m just a visitor there every time I come home, bound to leave at some point. There’s always a tinge of the bittersweet feeling when growing up and thinking of how my house is no longer my home.
However, besides these moments of sadness, starting the college chapter of my life has been incredible, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s just surreal to think about how fast life has gone by up to this point. But, no matter how old I am, I’ll still feel like that little kid in northern Virginia thinking about what my life would be like when I grow up.