It’s the look you see of your reflection in the mirror when you know you’re in love with someone who will never love you back.
It looks like secret text messages and conversations that no one else knows about it because you’re too ashamed to admit that what you’re doing is wrong.
It’s the flood of memories that surge through your brain when you hear the song that was playing the first night you kissed.
It’s the lost glimmer in your eyes because you don’t feel worthy. It’s knowing that you’ll never obtain what you truly want because at the end of the day, he doesn’t want you back.
It’s the overwhelming ache of knowing you need to let go…but can’t loosen your grip.
What does pain look like?
It looks like pictures of him with someone else.
It looks like “I love you” to someone who isn’t you.
It’s knowing that you aren’t the one he thinks about when he goes to sleep at night.
Even if he is for you.
It’s painful, and it’s heartache.
It’s overwhelming and agonizing and, often, very shameful – because you know deep down that you deserve better.
It hurts so bad because you know that what you feel will never be reciprocated.
It’s confusing and it’s messy, and you know that it has to stop.
So, why stay chained to the pain?
Why listen to those songs or flash back to those memories?
It’s easy to stay glued to it all.
To allow the pain to overcome you because you can’t seem to shake it.
Maybe because you don’t want to shake it?
Maybe because it’s all just too comfortable?
It’s scary to move forward and close this chapter because of how badly you wish it would end with “…and they all lived happily ever after.”
It hurts, I know, but I urge you to break through the shackles of this pain and choose to write your own ending.
I push you to use all of that love for yourself.
Look in the mirror and fall in love with the smile that grins back at you.
Become mesmerized with the twinkle in the eyes that spend each day dreaming.
Fall in love with the heart that has been beaten and torn by life’s greatest obstacles but continues to love courageously and unapologetically.
And while you’re fighting through the heartache and in the midst of loving yourself, don’t lose the hope that there is a man out there who will choose you first each and every day – because there is.
For now, love yourself.
Believe in yourself and know that there is an extraordinary love out there waiting for you.
Never forget that.
The day you start believing that love is overrated is the day that the pain wins.
Don’t let it.