How many times have you heard the question, “Are you a dog person or a cat person?” It’s pretty clear there’s a constructed binary between cats and dogs, where people see them as opposites, often forcing them to fall on one side or the other.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand that certain people don’t like cats for various valid reasons- whether it be an allergy or simply not wanting to have one of their own. Yet, it gets concerning when a simple dislike of cats becomes utter disgust- an opinion rooted in their behaviors.
I’m a cat person, so I know that cats often take a bit of time to warm up to someone new, whereas dogs usually love attention from anyone. However, when you think about it a little harder, does the fact that having a relationship with cats is harder mean that most people who hate cats hate them because of a misunderstanding? What does this mean for those people in terms of human relationships? I know it sounds a little dramatic, but if you hate cats, let me ask a few questions about perhaps why.
Debunked Myth: Cats Don’t Care about Their Owners
A common reason why people don’t like cats is because they are often not outwardly affectionate. Their independence can cause people to think that cats don’t care about their owners at all. However, cats are much more subtle with their affection, often showing it through proximity, or in other words just being near you. Cats can also mentally locate their owners by voice, proving that they are definitely paying attention to you. Cats may not be as obviously affectionate as dogs, but I don’t see an issue with making them earn your trust.
Debunked Myth: Cats Are Mean
I’ve also heard many people justify their hatred of cats by sharing that a cat was mean to them once, possibly scratching or biting them. However, most cats don’t run up to new people in order to make sure they’re safe first. A lot of behavioral mishaps with cats can come from them feeling threatened, or frustrated at not being able to perform their natural behavior. If a cat doesn’t want to be picked up or pet right away, they might act out when someone tries to do so. Cats need their personal space, so if you know their boundaries and still violate them, I’m sorry but you were kind of asking for it.
Debunked Myth: Cats Are Aloof and Untrainable
It’s true that cats have claws and like to scratch on things, like a particular couch. However, scratching is a natural and beneficial behavior for cats, as they’re drawn by their sight and scent to scratch objects. If you find a surface they like to scratch, like a post, and put their toys or catnip on it, they’ll be incentivized to scratch the post instead of the couch.
On top of scratching, cats can be trained to do other things as well. In fact, they’re just as trainable as dogs. Cats view their owners as equals, yet each cat is very different, so training might take a certain level of understanding. They aren’t eager to please like dogs are, but if they love and trust you, they’ll often respond to you. I was able to easily teach my own cat Quincy to sit and stand on command.
The Root of the Cat Hate
If you’re someone who truly hates cats- someone who has an outright disgust for their nature, I have to wonder why. Not because I’m a cat person and incapable of understanding the other side of the binary, but because, to me, there is something concerning about the root of that hate.
If you wish cats were more affectionate, I would have to wonder what your love languages are. Plus, what are the love languages of your friends and family members? Not everyone receives and shows affection in the same way. Some cats don’t show affection through physical touch and some do, similar to people. If you don’t like how cats show affection, how do you handle the different ways people show affection in human relationships?
Additionally, if you think cats are mean, there’s a good chance you did something to scare them or stress them out, even if it wasn’t intentional. However, if you know a cat’s boundaries and continue to violate them and blame them for scratching you, how do you handle boundaries in human relationships? Do you deem someone too difficult or mean and move on, even though you did something to hurt them? Or do you understand and respect boundaries that are actually healthy for everyone?
On top of that, if you love that dogs are easily trainable because they’re so eager to please you…do you have that expectation from humans too? Cats may need a little more understanding in terms of them as an individual with their own personality. Do you give that understanding to humans, or do you assume everyone is eager to please you?
I want to make it clear that I am not trying to attack people who prefer dogs over cats. I am simply trying to find the core of why some people hate cats so viscerally. It has seemed to me that people hate cats because cats don’t need them, and will have different views and preferences in a relationship with their owner. Cats are very intelligent and independent, and I can’t help but feel that people who despise them simply don’t care to put in time and effort. I then wonder if such people also despise humans that require more time and effort.
If you hate cats, I promise I am not saying you’re a terrible person. I would just encourage you to truly think about why you hate them. I would also encourage you to visit a Cat Cafe or meet a cat of someone you know, and just sit there. Don’t try to pick them up or chase them, just sit and let them come to you. You might be surprised by how magical it is for a cat to decide that you’re a safe and trustworthy human.