My Top Three TED Talks

Whether you are looking for motivation or to be educated more on a topic, TedTalks are a great place to start. There are thousands of videos about almost any topic. Of the many TedTalks I have watched, these three stand out to me, and I think they are beneficial to share.

  1. 1. Why domestic violence victims don’t leave (15:45) by Leslie Morgan Steiner

    The question of, “why would she stay?” Leslie, a successful writer and editor, tells her story of how she was in an abusive and manipulative relationship. She explains the psychological trap of domestic violence and how common it is to be tangled in ‘crazy love’.

     

    When she met her abusive partner, Connor, he appeared so sweet and was smart enough to create the illusion that she was the dominant partner in the relationship. 

     

    She laid out the following stages of domestic violence:

    1.) Seduce and charm the victim 

    2.) Isolate the victim from friends, family, and/or a heavily populated area 

    3.) Introduce threat of violence and see how they react 

    4.) Kill/torture the victim – especially if they leave the relationship because they have nothing to lose 

     

    She ended up leaving by telling everyone around her-– strangers, friends, and family--  and they helped her. She feels for the ones stuck in abusive relationships and hopes that this talk gives people some more knowledge on the issue.

     

  2. 2. There’s more to life than being happy (12:10) by Emily Esfahani Smith 

    A lot of people think the purpose of life is to be happy and that happiness is only associated with success. 

    Emily Esfahani Smith – who is an established author and professor – explains how that even with success, people feel hopeless and depressed. Seeking meaning is a more fulfilling path that shows that people who do are more resilient, do better in school/work, and live longer. 

     

     4 pillars of meaning: 

    Sense of belonging – most essential and it comes from being in relationships where you are valued for who are intrinsically and where you value others as well. 

    Purpose – less of what you want than about what you want to give 

    Transcendence – feeling connected to a higher reality 

    Story-telling - The story you tell yourself about yourself.

     

    Living a meaningful life takes a lot of work and an ongoing process and sometimes we can get off track as we are constantly adding to our story

     

    When life gets hard having meaning gives you something to hold on to. 

  3. 3. How to speak so that people want to listen by Julian Treasure

    Julian Treasure studies sound and advises businesses on how to use it effectively. He states that the following tactics and elements in speech can change if people will listen to you or not. 

     

    7 deadly sins of speaking:

    Gossip – speaking ill of someone 

    Judging – hard to listen to someone 

    Negativity – hard to listen to someone who has a negative mindset 

    Excuses – don’t take responsibility for actions 

    Complaining – a viral misery

    Exaggeration – becomes lying

    Dogmatism – the confusion of facts with opinions 

     

    4 powerful tools to use to make speech more powerful:

    H- honestly

    A- authenticity be yourself 

    I -integrity 

    L- love 

     

    Also, voices that are deep and smooth are easier to flow and listen to. Mata-language should be used to impart meanings to certain words or phrases. Pitch, speed, and volume also are tools that can really change your tone and confidence.