Starting my sophomore year of college was such a surreal experience. It felt like just yesterday that I was saying goodbye to my family after moving into my new “home” 580 miles away from the only place I’ve known for 18 years.
Scared was such an understatement. I was feeling a whirlwind of emotions: anxiety, excitement, sadness, nostalgia, anticipation. Whatever you can think of, I was feeling it.
I recall so clearly turning to my new roommate and asking, “So, what now?” as soon as our parents left, the sinking feeling of homesickness settling in.
I was riddled with anxiety and homesickness while plastering on a fake smile and pretending as though everything was okay. But in reality, all I wanted to do was go home and hug my mom. I couldn’t help but wonder if I had made the right decision to come to MSU.
However, after a few more cries, a few more feelings of loneliness, and a few more “the first few weeks are the toughest” pep talks to myself, I had finally settled in and felt at peace. Happy, even. For the first time since I left home in August, I had never felt so content to be at MSU in the middle of September.
Throughout my freshman year, I was so happy to be exactly where I was with the friends I surrounded myself with. Of course there were phases where I felt homesick, but they were nothing compared to how I felt the first month of school. Although nothing can quite beat face-to-face communication, FaceTime, social media, and messaging apps were lifesavers when it came to wanting to stay connected with my loved ones back home.
There were so many memories, people, and experiences I never would have gotten to participate in if I never took that leap of faith to commit to a school four states away. I found myself devastated when it came time to move out; it rolled around within the blink of an eye. The thought of not being able to see my amazing friends and boyfriend for four whole months was a slap in the face. The entire summer felt as though it would drag on forever.
So, what changed in just a month? How did I go from being at my lowest to the happiest I’ve ever been? A lot. I found my closest friends, made so many new memories, met my boyfriend, but most importantly, I found a place where I felt I belonged. Right here in East Lansing.
As soon as move-in rolled around again at the end of this past August, I eagerly packed and made my way to Michigan as quickly as I could. This time, I knew exactly how I was feeling: unbearably excited. Excited to see my friends, excited to see my boyfriend, and excited to make new memories.
And that leads me to today. About a month into sophomore year. Still so happy to be back and taking it all in. Of course there still are times I feel very homesick and all I want to do is hug my mom, but it’s much more manageable this time. I now know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and homesickness won’t last forever. There are still ways to keep in touch with my family back home, and knowing that I’m not alone in this journey is a tremendous blessing.
Being able to call East Lansing my home, with my full chest out, is something I truly cherish, especially because it is a symbol of how far I’ve come and grown, and how there truly is a light at the end of the tunnel.