it’s ok :)
the no’s turning into maybe’s
and those maybe’s evolving into yes’s
it doesn’t feel ok but
it’s ok :)
After all,
He’s a boyfriend or a best friend
or she’s a mother or a cousin,
Someone who should make you feel safe.
But all they do is turn that sweet warmth
into ice cold isolation,
Creeping through your body
until your heart freezes over mid-beat.
All you can feel is the nothingness of the numbing cold
and maybe it’s better this way…
But as soon as your heart starts thawing,
everything you’ve repressed comes trickling back.
Beginning with an atrophied spirit,
so weak from the lack of emotional control.
Followed by absolute self-loathing,
stuck in a constant loop of denial.
And finally feeling like you’re not good enough— unworthy,
undeserving of anything great in life.
And because we accept the love we think we deserve,
we’re okay with accepting their demons.
We will continue to protect them
and their unbruised reputation.
but it’s ok…
At least then, a more angelic version of them will live on
in someone else’s mind.
And hopefully, we’ll catch a fleeting glimpse of it
before they morph into what they truly are:
a monster.