No one cares as much as you think they do.
Now there’s no need to blow this out of proportion. People care about YOU, of course. Those who are important in your life value your happiness, success, well-being and all that other good stuff.
But what people don’t really care about is the minor stupid things we trick ourselves into believing are important.
As has been reiterated throughout all my posts thus far, I work at a bar. A lot of my experiences have come from that. This lesson is no exception. My former manager and family friend gave me this golden nugget of advice.
I was considering taking some time off to deal with some personal crap and was having a heart-to-heart with my faux big brother about my reservations.
What would people think about me? People were going to talk, probably speculate. I didn’t want to worry about people judging me.
He broke it down pretty simply for me in one word: Don’t. People don’t care half as much as you think they do.
No one is spending their whole day discussing the legitimacy of your decisions and actions.
No one at the gym is watching to see how fast you can run. Don’t let the fears of people judging you stop you from going. None of the other students in your philosophy class think you are an idiot for asking questions- no one really gets the reading anyway.
Simply put people are not that concerned about the mundane details we obsess over. No one cares if your socks don’t match or your hair is greasy.
There will be days in life where you look like crap. Accept it, embrace it and realize it’s not that big of a deal.
At no point in time will there be a forum held to discuss the stylistic travesties you’ve committed during finals week.
No one has any vested interest in talking about the fact that your hair is on the top of your head, or that you’re wearing your glasses for the eighth day in a row. And truthfully, so what if they do?
Wow, you’re so busy with school this week that you didn’t have time to perfectly spiral curl your hair before your 8 a.m. Dream on if the gossipers haven’t had moments like that themselves.
We all do. We all have moments when we’ve sent texts we shouldn’t have or said something super awkward.
No one is keeping a notebook recording all the days you looked weird, said weird things, or all the times you tripped or ate more than three slices of pizza. No one cares.
Odds are no one even noticed. You’ve got to do what makes sense in the context of your life and not waste your time worrying about what that looks like to other people.
People aren’t going to be heartbroken if you fail to make a cameo on Sunday Funday. If you aren’t carrying a Coach wristlet the world will not end. No one cares if you wore that shirt last week.
By next week no one will even remember.
Get real. When was the last time you possessed serious ill will-or even had a conversation about, something that someone else wore or said?
But okay maybe someone did notice. Maybe someone laughed or maybe even thought you were weird, but then it was over. They went on with their life so you might as well do the same. It’s the good ’ol “you do you, I’ma do me” philosophy.
Humans by our very nature are strange, awkward creatures. Sure, sometimes we all have these thoughts about what other people do or say. But how often do you let it consume your thoughts? Have it define your perception of someone? Or let it take up any more time than a millisecond of your day?
Probably never. And if it does, you need to reevaluate what is important in your life. Then follow some more simple advice from my bar-managing-big-bro; step yo game up.