- Be alone
In 2021, I went through a breakup with a guy that was my best friend for years and later became my boyfriend. It was devastating, but the worst part was that I had not been single for a significant period of time for five years. During the crucial years of discovering myself in highschool and my first year of college, I always had boyfriends. It wasn’t a bad thing, though. I had fun and I don’t regret anything, but it means that I did not know how to be alone or feel comfortable with who I am without a partner. That situation forced me to learn how to be happy by myself, and I am glad that it did. It is completely okay to be alone. I even recommend spending time with yourself, if you’re in a relationship or not, to learn who you are.
- No one sees what you see, even if they see it too
I saw the above quote somewhere and it has stuck with me ever since. To me, it means that in any situation, everyone can see what is happening. They can form their opinions on the situation, but it won’t ever be from the same viewpoint as you. No one can see it the same way because they don’t have the same experiences and values as you. They aren’t you. It is a hard quote to wrap your head around, but once you make your own meaning of it, I think things will change for you too.
- Find something that you like to do
I’m a girl of very few “hobbies”, or things that I like to do by myself. I figured this out after a breakup when I had been forced to be alone, like I shared above. However, I am a perfectionist, which makes finding and sticking to hobbies very hard for me. When I am not the best at something, I don’t like it anymore. I completely give up and am really hard on myself. I learned that I don’t have to excel at everything I try to do. If I like doing something, then that is good enough for me to keep doing it.
- It is okay to outgrow people
I think we all go through this lesson at some point or another, but it is always painful. After graduating highschool and being the only one from my friend group to move away from my hometown for college, it was hard to keep in touch with my friends. They were all able to see each other more and I wasn’t there. It was really hard on me and I tried to keep in touch, but at the end of the day, I had just outgrown that stage of my life. I was evolving into a different person than I was in highschool, and these friendships didn’t suit me anymore. It’s not a bad thing. I think it is normal and natural. Sometimes friends or relationships don’t do anything wrong, but you just grow into a different person than you were when you met them.
- No one is actually paying attention to you
You may feel insecure about yourself or where you are in life compared to others, but no one is paying attention to you at all. I feel insecure, too. People are mostly focused on themselves and their own life, following their own timeline separate from the rest of the world. If you are like me and feel like this, trust me: these things mean too little to take up so much of your time and brain thinking about. You are doing everything right, based on what you like and what you want to do.