Tips to Keep Your Relationship Tight during Exam Time
If you are a student at MSU like I am, then you have finished up midterm exams, and are preparing for finals. We are even more alike if your constant studying is taking a serious toll on your relationship with a significant other. Over time, carrying on a romantic relationship in college can make your connection a lot less….well, romantic. An entire summer together quickly turns in going to class instead. Those long, late night conversations on the phone pretty much disappear. College literally tears at the strings holding your relationship together, especially for those who’ve been with the same person for a while, but with a little work, the growing stress of juggling these two worlds won’t seem like stress at all.
1.) Communicate
It’s no surprise that most relationships end because one or both parties are not communicating the way they used to. The separation that college can cause is definitely an example, especially when you and your partner go to different schools. You want to be together but you can’t and watching your studies can make your partner feel neglected. This is normal, just as long as you don’t treat your significant other like a distraction and become totally unavailable. Skype or FaceTime him/her during study breaks, and just ask about their day. If you have a good connection, it will just flow from there. Talk more about what your partner wants to talk about, and really sit and listen to what they have to say. It will show how much you still care about what’s going on in their life. You can even talk about topics you don’t usually discuss with your partner- any topic is fair game! An hour or two of talking is long enough, and you never know what your love will want to discuss.
2.) Continue to show Effort
Going to college is not the time to slack off on your relationship. Truly, this is when he/she will need you more than I ever have before. What do I mean by effort? Remember those things your partner did to steal your heart? Maybe it was the way they were always there when you needed them. Maybe it was the ‘I love you’ texts you got at the same time every single night. It could even be how they watched your favorite show with you, even though they couldn’t stand that show. Whatever it was, don’t forget how much your partner liked it. Trust me, if they’re worth it, he/she will show their gratitude.
3.) Patience
There will come a time during your college relationship(s) when those quirks you used to love about your partner will become the most annoying. He/she could be really clingy, a talkative know-it-all, or have a really hard time remembering everything you say. Add to this the stress of getting a good grade on your finals, and you can have a ticking time bomb waiting for them the next time your partner tells you that childhood story for the fifteenth time. Don’t worry; it doesn’t mean you love them any less. You just need to take a breath each time you get the chance to talk, and try to remember why you loved these qualities in the first place. If you have to bite your lip, do it, and carry on if you really want to make it work.
4.) Never Stop Dating Each Other
Another terrible effect college can have on relationships is that you become so comfortable that you put spending quality time together on the back burner. The person in front of you no longer gets your blood pumping they way they did when school wasn’t in the way, and they don’t get much attention. Your partner may not understand that you just need time to focus on your studies, and can feel left out, which can lead to even worse problems between the two of you. So take time out of each week to just be together; a date doesn’t have to mean dinner and a movie. You can go out on a drive, lay outside at night to do some stargazing, play paintball, or just stay in and cuddle. Basically, dating in college becomes less frequent and the definition of it will change. Whatever you choose to do can be a date. Drive up to your partners school if you have to, or have he/she come to you. Get creative ladies!
5.) Always End the Day on A Good Note
With college comes the inevitable possibility that you and your partner won’t always see eye-to-eye. Sometimes you will want to hang out, but your partner feels like doing their own thing. This is ok, and should be encouraged. Your partner should be able to have fun when you’re not around. What shouldn’t happen is you getting upset with him/ her when they express these feelings. If you do, an argument is bound to follow and you’ll probably say something you will instantly regret. Remember: you’re talking to someone you love, and just like your mom or dad or siblings, you don’t want to hurt their feelings. If you can feel an argument coming on, stop yourself and pick the conversation up later when you’ve calmed down. You can also just say ‘I love you’ when you know you’re getting upset, and that usually works for me. You can even make a word up with your partner to stop a fight before it happens. Trust me: staying mad at your partner will only hurt you, and your grades. Agree to disagree.