I think we all can agree: relationships are hard. As strong as your relationship may be, every couple experiences ups and downs. For me, moving to college only amplified these normal trials and tribulations within my relationship.
In high school, relationships are relatively simple. You’re on a similar schedule as your significant other, you know the same people and you’re going through the same things.
However, college is very different; and little did I know, the high school to college transition would be so drastically different that my relationship would experience incredible stress.
My boyfriend was one year younger than me, and as we dated throughout my senior year with college approaching, I had no idea what was ahead. I felt that the obstacle of dating someone in high school while I lived away at college would be difficult, but not impossible.
Upon moving to college and beginning classes, I realized that I was very naïve in high school.
In college, you grow. You move away from home and meet new people different than those you’re accustomed to in your hometown. You’re exposed to new ideas and you learn to take care of yourself and make your own decisions. I was unaware of how huge the difference between high school and college really was.
We went from seeing each other every day to seeing each other once a week for a few hours. When I was feeling lonely or stressed at school, he tried, but was unable to truly relate, not having had the same experiences.
When everyone went out to get pizza at 2 a.m., he couldn’t be there. We weren’t able to run to the library to get a few hours of studying in, since he was at home. He had to ask permission before making plans.
The differences were frustrating, and we began arguing more and more. I felt like I was being held back from truly experiencing college. However, by dating me while he was in high school, I was robbing him of high school experiences, too.
While the Friday night football games took place, he missed them to come see me. Instead of going to high school dances, we would go out to dinner. Fun high school experiences that only come around once, he was missing by dating me.
At a certain point, if you care about someone, you must take his or her best interest into account. After our relationship ended, as hard as it was, I realized that it was for the best. Breaking up doesn’t mean that you no longer care about someone. But in some cases, you care so much about the person that you want the best for them, even if it hurts. Living two completely separate lives and arguing about frustrating differences didn’t seem like the best option for either of us.
For any college student dating a high school sweetheart who is still at home, I’m not saying that your relationship can’t withstand the barrier. However, I think that we can all agree that after high school, we all transform in one way or another. We are faced with new challenges, we grow in new ways and we start to figure ourselves out.
Relationships are hard to begin with, and adding this huge new hurdle doesn’t make things any easier.
In the end, we must decide what is best for ourselves and for the ones we care about. Even in painful situations, we must learn and grow.