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god tried to leave a voicemail with the front desk, 

begging for a place to hide from the ghosts of our demands — 

a fiendish ramble of every request, every greedy

demand disguised as a prayer in his name —


but the answering machine is full.


the workers yell,

room service, coming in,

por favor, dios, déjanos curar tu dolor,

please god, let us heal your pain

but the door’s barricaded

by a pile of urine-soaked towels

and empty bottles from the minibar.


the women roll their eyes beneath the door

to see if god is still there, perhaps

asleep on the battered love sofa,

but the dust on the ground 

clouds their vision,

cuts their irises. 


oh, lord, please forgive us.

there was a time when our hearts weren’t poisoned

by the cyanide of apple seeds.


sighs of the maids are sent through the vents

begging for god to answer 

dios, es hora de dejar este lugar,

god, it’s time to leave this place

but he can’t hear,

cobwebs in the air ducts,

cobwebs in his ear canals —


we expected god to answer us 

but never thought to do the same.


his voice waivers a bit before cutting in again —

i can hear him calling

in the motel room above mine —

and for a moment i hear him cry.

he never meant for us to become this way,

running to poisoned orchards

when we were banished from the apple trees.


i suppose they should have cleared the answering machine

but instead they sit in the breakroom

snorting crushed apple blossoms.


i press my ears to the ceiling,

trying to listen to god

move around the floor above 

but he’s gone silent,

having lost hope

we will ever come to find him.


but a part of me feels something much worse

has happened, that the manager checking his room

will grieve for years to come, screaming in the streets:

dios está muerto, y toda la esperanza está perdida,

god is dead, and all hope is lost


for a part of me knows already the fate

that’s befallen our god

overdosed on apple seeds

in that lonely motel room.

Pursuing a career in civil rights and immigration law, I am a political science pre-law student at Michigan State University. I love hiking, writing and art. Other works of mine can be found at www.childssizesmall.weebly.com/blog
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