I wish someone had told me that freshman year wasn’t going to be a consistent, daily rush of euphoria or a worriless, painless year of fun. I regret that no one locked eyes with me and told me, “It’s going to be hard at the beginning of your freshman year, but it will be worth it.”
I wish that I had this advice on mornings where my heart felt less full, and I felt distant from everyone.
I wish that I had this advice when I scrolled through Facebook and Instagram pictures, hopelessly pondering how everyone seemed to already fit-in at college so effortlessly.
I wish that I had this advice each time I gave a half-truth response. “It’s going great,” I would say when someone asked me how college was going.
I wish that I had this advice when I sought help from Google before my friends, searching online, trying to find something that told me I was normal, okay.
I wish that I had this advice on Sundays, when the thought of an entire new week engulfed me.
I wish that I had this advice when I hated myself for not being completely happy in college, when everyone else seemed to be having the time of their lives.
I wish that I knew that it was normal and okay to feel this way at first.
Certain days, I was happy and felt content where I was, and then other days, I was homesick or overwhelmed. Sometimes I felt like I was lost, trying to convince myself that I was actually enjoying my time.
Some days can be so disastrous or gloomy that it leaves one questioning things. Being in a new environment, surrounded by completely different people, is enough to make any person wary.
As a freshman in college, I felt most alone on days when I felt disconnected where I was. Ironically enough, I found out months later that almost all of my friends had experienced the same exact feeling. We all endured our dull aches in silence, thinking we were the only ones.
Almost all freshmen, no matter how impressive the facade they portray is, feel unsure and overwhelmed when they first come to college. Don’t fall for the flashy Instagram posts or the gushy, over-the-top tweets. No one has a perfect transition to college.
If you feel like you haven’t found any people you connect with at college yet, if you’re overwhelmed by the size of your school or your workload, or if you’re unsure if you made the right decision with your school: talk to your friends. I promise you, at least one of them is going to relate. I regret feeling ashamed of my uncertainty in the first month or two of my freshman year, knowing now just how common that it actually is. Don’t be ashamed, and don’t feel alone. This is one of the biggest transitions you will endure in your life, how couldn’t you be hesitant?
It shouldn’t be taboo to discuss uncertainty about your decision in college. It shouldn’t be the norm for one to seek acceptance through social media about their freshman year. Why lie? Why do we present such an artificial image of ourselves?
Don’t pretend anymore if you’re feeling doubtful about your freshman year. There is a great possibility that you will overcome your woes, and you are only experiencing a rough transition. However, that isn’t always the case. Not all universities are for everyone. For now, engage in conversation about it with friends. Chances are, you’ll make someone feel a lot less alone if you confide in them about your uncertainties.