I came out at as bisexual at 16— partially against my will and through the shortcut of getting into my first relationship before I was ready. That was almost 3 years ago, and since then I’ve had to deal with constantly reminding almost every single person I know that I liked girls as well as guys. I’ve also dealt with every kind of response — denial, acceptance, confusion, mildly homophobic comments, and sorry attempts to hide utter disgust at my preferences.
I wish someone had told me when I was anxious and confused about coming out that I could have waited because there is no “right time” to come out. When my relationship ended, I felt like I had failed and coming out was a mistake. I didn’t want to accept the fact that I was now an out bisexual woman on my own, because I didn’t know how to do it alone. It took me a while to recognize my feelings as those of a girl who had come out before she was ready. I had convinced myself that I was fine with the fact that I never got to come out on my own terms, but I wasn’t, and that made me angry. So as I sat confined to my home by the pandemic for months, I turned to the only coping mechanisms I could find — the arts.
Some of my favorite books have queer characters and love stories. My favorite shows have a queer romance focus. My most-listened to artists on Spotify are queer. It was a queer film that made helped me let go of my anger from the past few years and a queer film that restored my confidence in my sexuality. I will always highlight and applaud good queer representation, because it probably saved my life.
And now, almost three years later, I feel a lot more confident in the woman I see when I look in the mirror. She is out, she is proud, and she is bisexual.
If you’re looking for some good LGBTQ representation, here are some of my favorite –
Books:
- Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuinston
- One Last Stop by Casey McQuinston
- The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller
- Gearbreakers by Zoe Hana Mikuta
- The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon
- Black Sun by Rebecca Roanhorse
Movies:
- The Boys in the Band (Netflix)
- Crush (Hulu)
- Happiest Season (Hulu)
- The Half of It (Netflix)
- Love, Simon (Hulu)
TV Shows:
- Heartstopper (Netflix)
- Sex Education (Netflix)
- Pose (Hulu)
- The Umbrella Academy (Netflix)
- Queer Eye (Netflix)
- Schitt’s Creek (Netflix)
- One Day at a Time (Netflix seasons 1-3)
Musicians:
- Halsey
- King Princess
- Ashnikko
- Sam Smith
- Melanie Martinez
- Troye Sivan