WHAT IS BUMBLE?
Almost everyone is well aware of the concept of dating apps. You create a profile showing off your favorite photos and featuring a cute bio, and then you get presented with hundreds of potential matches that you can either swipe right (yes) or left (no) on. Dating apps can be extremely useful for anyone looking to meet someone, especially given current pandemic-related restrictions on in-person social interactions.
The app Bumble, however, is different from other apps in a special way. Unlike other dating apps, where anyone can make the first move, Bumble gives all the power to its female users. When a match is found, it is up to the girl to message first and start the conversation. She has 24 hours to send a message or the match will disappear.
With options including the Bumble Boost upgrade, Travel Mode, and an option to specify if you are willing to meet someone in person or are only looking for a virtual date, Bumble seems a great place to try to meet people. We decided to put that to the test.
We had two writers, Nicolette and Ellie, try out the app for a week. We will tell you all about our experiences, thoughts, and favorite pickup lines.
NICOLETTE’S INTRODUCTION TO DATING APPS
I have never used a dating app because of dating apps presenting hookup culture and not as a presentable place for women to interact with men without the concern of sexual tension. Honestly I considered dating apps to be in favor towards men, because women ain’t the one allowed to start the conversation, if they wish to start a conversation with another user. I felt that dating apps which just a game with the contenders being the players and the pawns. I just considered the swiping game to go nowhere.
However with COVID-19 looming over my head, being bored out of my mind and wanting to interact through a safe distance-Bumble was the perfect option. I am always someone to make the first move, I like how Bumble allows me to pick and choose between my matches and see which men I want to start a conversation with. Because it allows me to control the conversation and if a conversation goes south or if I feel uncomfortable I can always unmatch: no coincidences and no ghosting needed.
Women: if you want to pick a dating app, go with Bumble because it’s the best way to feel confident about yourself and have the men chase after you for once!
NICOLETTE’S CONVERSATIONS
When it comes to pick-up lines I try to be personal and pick a topic that best reflects my personality. Because a majority of men I matched with on Bumble played sports or were passionate about sports, just like I am, my first interaction had to be sporty. I started a majority of my conversation with the hockey players, saying “If one were on the ice would you let me score?” I found through this interaction I got a lot of positive responses and a majority of the hockey players either gave me a wink with the sentence “I will let you score on and off the ice.” or “Yeah for sure,” or “Of course.” So if you are talking to a hockey player and anything in regards to scoring on the ice-you got yourself a win! Since I grew up on an island I decided to bring in a question I heard from Jim Halpert on The Office, “If you were stranded on a deserted island, what three things would you bring with you?” I found that through this response it drew in a lot of conversation and it helps you get an idea about the person. Lastly, if you have a sense of humor like me and want to give that guy a line that really gets him without having to look up dirty jokes. I highly recommend using the line, “Thoughts on the theory that Stonehenge was a sex thing?” The majority of men I personally matched with on Bumble and interacted with, I based the first initial parts of the conversion on their profile. This way the conversation felt more personal and tentatively it worked the best on the guys, not just to get them to respond, but to continue the conversation for more than a week. I find that if you are personal with the guy you talk to is the best way to get the guy.
Nicolette’s Top Five Lines:
1. If I were on the ice would you let me score?/ Would you let me score?
2. If you were stranded on a deserted island, what three things would you take with you?
3. What are three things you can’t live without?
4. Thoughts on the theory that Stonehenge was a sex thing?
5. Hit me with your best pickup line
NICOLETTE’S REFLECTION
What I have learned the most from this app is that I am a very confident woman because I’m not afraid to start the conversation because it is fun being the person to start the conversation. Also if he doesn’t respond back, which arley happens, then I simply move on to the next. If a guy simply doesn’t want to put in the effort to get to know me, then I won’t put in the effort either. When men called me gorgeous and cute I said, “Thank you, I know.” I know that I am cute and gorgeous, though it is nice when someone else says it, I also realize that I have to be the one to recognize that in myself. If I cannot uphold myself to the same standards and recognize my own personal beauty then there is no point in expecting compliments that I simply don’t know I have.
ELLIE’S RECALL ON PREVIOUS DATING APPS
I’ve tried another dating app in the past, and I’ve helped my friends swipe through on their different accounts, but I’ve actually never tried Bumble before. I was really nervous about it because I am fairly shy when talking to new people in real life, and even on the other dating app, I always preferred it when the guy messaged me first. However, with Bumble, I was forced to make the first move. What was originally scary turned out to be really fun as I was able to set the tone for the conversation. Also, on the rare occasion that I changed my mind about someone after swiping, I could decide whether or not I even wanted to start a conversation with them.
TRAVEL MODE
I also really appreciated the “travel mode” option. I am currently learning from home, but I still wanted to meet people connected to MSU as opposed to those in my small hometown. After paying a few dollars, I was able to change my location for a week and make sure that everyone I matched with was located in the East Lansing area. It did show that I was in travel mode on my profile, so no one was surprised when I told them where I was, which was also super nice and made my life easier.
ELLIE’S CONVERSATIONS
For my conversations, I tried to combine aspects of my matches’ profiles with cheesy pick-up lines. If a guy liked cars, I would use a car pun. If he had a photo of him camping, I would use a camping pun. If his bio said he played a sport, well you get the point. This worked out really well for me because the lines came across as super personalized, but were more unique than just saying “hey I like ____ too.” It also directed the conversation, but it was easy enough to switch to a new topic if I wanted.
I also enjoyed asking the guys questions. Asking for things like their favorite dad joke or pickup line really broke the ice and showed off their personality, which I appreciated. If you aren’t feeling creative, I would definitely recommend using this strategy.
The most important thing I found is that you should not start any conversation by saying “hey.” It feels easy and casual, but most guys won’t respond to it. A lot of guys are getting flooded with messages, so you need something unique that will engage them in order to get a response.
Ellie’s Top Five Lines:
-
If I was a car, I would need coolant because you’ve got my engine overheating
-
Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more
-
If we were going on a road trip, what songs would you put on our travel playlist?
-
What’s your best dad joke?
-
What’s your best pickup line?
ELLIE’S REFLECTION
Overall, this was a really empowering experience and I will definitely feel more comfortable making the first move in the future (either on an app or in person). This was also a big confidence booster, and it was nice to see that there were actually people who were interested in getting to know me. I really enjoyed talking about cars, movies, sports, and classes with the guys I matched with, and I feel like most of them enjoyed the conversations too.
LADIES LISTEN UP!
When it comes to approaching guys I am never afraid to start the conversation or ask a guy for his phone number. It is just my personality and if I get rejected then I move on to the next because there are plenty of fish in the sea. There is always going to be another guy to keep me interested. Though I understand that not every woman possesses the same amount of charisma and find themself debating whether or not to make the first move. The thing is you shouldn’t be afraid! Psychology shows that 90% of men prefer when women are the first ones to make the move and if you don’t believe me ask or text your guys friends and they will only confirm my statement. The reason that guys like it when girls make the first move is because it shows how confident you are and that you are mature. Not a lot of girls are able to ask for a cute guy’s phone number or snap; but you doing so shows that you are interested and don’t want to play games. So be that confident woman and go get that man!
Another thing: do not lower your standards in order to get a guy to like you. A guy shouldn’t like you for the picture you painted; he should like the artist who painted the picture. Don’t be fake and be yourself, because if you cannot be yourself around him then you shouldn’t be with him at all! On the dating app someone asked me to send pictures: I didn’t! Because I’m not going to break my own morals in order to get some random guy to like me. Be who you are! If that means you want to wear sweatpants and pullovers and cuddle on the couch till 3am in the morning, then find that guy! Don’t send pictures over the internet in order to get a guy’s attention if you think that is the only way he is going to like you: guess what it’s not! Stick to your standards and ladies you will find a good man who will treat you right.
Ladies, my biggest advice to you is know your standards/morals and don’t be afraid to be the first one to start a conversation. Know that you are beautiful or gorgeous inside and out because as Bruno Mars famously said, “you are beautiful just the way you are.”