Introduction
Ever since I was a kid, my family thought that I was going to be a lawyer. I never was one to let my voice be silenced, and have always seemed to argue about everything. I spent my entire life being excited about the future ahead of me, and all the cool things that I would be able to do, along with all the people I could help. However, when you are a kid, you aren’t aware of the biases society has against you. Specifically, in male-dominated fields, young girls are never taught about how they will be discriminated against until it begins to happen to them. So, for this story, I’m going to provide a rundown as to how it truly is to grow up as a woman in the pre-law field.
Primary school
When you are younger, you’re expected to have some crazy idea as to what form of job you’re going to have in the future. Usually, kids want to be astronauts, singers, or ballerinas. However, when I was little, I wanted to be the first female President of the United States. This was seen as even more absurd than if I said I wanted to be the first woman on the moon (a hint that has already happened). Constantly, I was asked things such as ‘no honey, what do you REALLY want to do?’, ‘Really? Are you sure you don’t want to be a singer or a vet or something?’, and ‘do you know that that’s impossible?’. Interestingly enough, the boys in my class that wanted to go to space or be president were met with nothing but praise. They were seen as driven and innovative, whereas I was seen as delusional and confused. So, at the age of 8, I was met with the realization that if I really wanted to be president, everyone would be looking at me like I was delusional my whole life.
High school
By the time I was 13, I knew I not only wanted to be a lawyer but that I specifically wanted to go into something like criminal defense law. My school had very few resources to help me on this path, so I mostly focused on English and creating my own ways to learn about the law. I was outspoken and opinionated and enjoyed having conversations and debates within my school. Though, when you are a woman, these qualities are not seen as positive. As opposed to being viewed as determined, passionate, or well-spoken, you are seen as bossy, loud, and annoying. Slowly, throughout high school, I noticed myself getting quieter and quieter than my male counterparts getting louder and louder. They could say a wrong answer in class and no one would think anything of it, but the second I was a little wrong, I was laughed at or ignored. Throughout my trying to grow as a speaker and my education, I was continually silenced.
Debate
In my sophomore year of high school, I got to take my first-ever speech class; debate. I walked in incredibly excited, ready to be in a space where I could freely speak and practice debating. However, when I entered the room, I was met by a majority of men. They all turned their heads when I walked into the room, and I quietly took a seat. For the first few weeks, I didn’t say a word. I was so intimidated by the level of male aggression within the room that, when asked a question by my debate teacher for the first time, I was unable to speak. Having these men in the room made me lose my voice. That was until my first debate, where I was partnered with the one friend I had in that class. During that debate, I got the highest score ever given. Everyone let me speak after that, and I went on to be undefeated in debate for three years. I always had that potential within me, but I had to prove that I was good enough. As opposed to immediately having my voice heard, they had to be put in a position where they had no choice but to listen to me.
College
When I entered college, I entered as a pre-law student. I was beyond excited to begin my education centered around what I was genuinely interested in and passionate about. I was placed in a dorm of almost all pre-law students, and I finally felt like I had found my people. Within my major, I had. Generally, people were very accepting of a woman in the legal field. In fact, every professor that I have had so far for my major has been a woman. The second I stepped out of my bubble, out of my dorm, it was almost worse than high school. Every woman with my major is seen as annoying automatically, and people will actively try to avoid us. My major is new enough that there is no form of a support group for women, and we are left to fight through it. When bringing up my concerns, I was told that it was meant to ‘weed out the weak.’ Why do women have to deal with sexism to be determined a ‘strong’ attorney, when men can simply exist?
Mock trial
When I came to college, I found the one club that could give me every aspect of being a lawyer that I could ask for. I had the opportunity to join a mock trial, where I could have a fake case and act out all parts of being an attorney in both criminal and civil proceedings. I practiced for hours for my audition and confidently gave my speech. I told them my history in debate and why I wanted to be there. I made the team and was so excited to be there. After my first time competing, I scored very poorly on one ballot for being ‘aggressive’. The witness was not answering my questions, so I kept asking until I got an answer. This is what I was trained to do and the only way that you can truly score well. However, for me, this was seen as aggression. When I brought up the concern to my captains, I was told I almost didn’t make the team for being ‘aggressive’. Me talking about my success in debate and having a strong voice was seen as cocky and a man on the team argued for me to be kept out because of it. However, it wasn’t just a man. Two women also agreed with him, until the other women on the team pointed out that a man that auditioned was even more confident than me and they saw nothing wrong with it. Even when I finally found my voice, I was seen as inadequate.
All in all…
No matter how you go about your career path, if you are entering the pre-law field as a woman you will always be seen as less. No level of volume is right, and no level of confidence is acceptable. It is hard, and the path is long. At the end of the day, they genuinely will, as they say, try to weed you out. And yet, no matter how hard they try, I am still here. You can still be here. Slowly, as more women take this path, we can break down the barriers for the women that follow.