“It is what it is” is a sentence that has been frequenting my vocabulary more and more often as I find myself in new, stressful situations where I have absolutely no idea what to do. No amount of prior knowledge was ever going to prepare me for how confusing filing taxes would be. It’s a fairly adult responsibility, and as a newly formed adult myself, this is akin to building a rocket with no instruction manual in sight.
Every new phase in life brings with it its own challenges and charms, and none of us will ever fully be prepared for any of them.
Teenage me had it all figured out though. Where I would go to college, where I would work, when I would get married, and at what age I would tell my parents about my tattoo that I got 5 years prior.
That tattoo never happened, and marriage is something I don’t even want to think about right now, but that information would be crippling to Type-A teenage me. She was working towards a bright future that she had mapped down to every little detail. She still is, but in the present moment she knows that life is unexpected and gets in the way. So here it goes:
1. Friendships will change
You will make new friends, and lose old ones. You will lose the new ones, and get closer to the older ones. Friendship is like a weird concoction of unpredictability, messy schedules, and lots of awkward interactions. It’s okay if that one friendship didn’t work out. You have a magnanimous heart that can love and cherish as many people as you want.
2. Being selfish isn’t always a bad thing
Being selfish doesn’t mean that you’re taking away something that isn’t rightfully yours. In a world where we give and give and give till we’re drained, any form of self-care is often followed by a feeling of guilt. It’s okay to not want to share your notes sometimes, and it’s okay if you don’t have the energy to be there for a friend all the time. Take that day off if you’re feeling sick, and don’t be afraid to ask questions.
3. eXERCISE PLEASE
This is probably unexpected, but 21-year-old me has back problems and knee problems that could have been avoided if teenage me didn’t spend 5 hours a day crumpled into a ball watching Netflix. Exercise, even for a little bit every day. It goes a long way into making your body healthy and preparing it for any health problems that may arise in the future.
4. You will be able to let go of the past
Ew, all those embarrassing memories are flooding back to me now, but I am not as affected by them as I used to be. I learned from them, and while I still cringe from time to time, I know that those experiences were important in shaping me into the happy, content person that I am today. My experiences today will shape me for a better tomorrow.
For the longest time, I resisted change. Change in my opinions, the way I dressed, and the way I chose to present myself. Change is not letting go of who you are, it is embracing every version of yourself with love and tenderness. You are not a 2-dimensional being, and your life won’t be either.
Accept things as they come, and know that while you cannot change the situation, you can adapt to it. Life is a medley of weird, sad, happy, and unforgettable memories, and you are going to have a great life.