Since December, my family has been trying to cope with the loss of my grandmother. It devastated my family, especially since everything happened right before the holidays, but now we all have to go back to work and school. It’s a new year, a new semester, and the same old heartache and grief. To help myself not fall apart, I’ve picked up a few habits to focus on my mindfulness and sense of stability.
- Investing in a gratitude journal
I feel like I have been neglecting the connection between my mind and body for a while. I haven’t been going about my day consciously, but rather letting the day carry me where it may. Gratitude journals have been catching my eye on social media lately, so I went out on a limb to try it for myself. I’ve always been a complainer and making space for gratitude and reflection has helped me take control of each day. Each morning I set my expectations by listing my focus of the day and what I’m grateful for, and then at the end of the day I reflect on how I felt and note the positive things that happened. I bow down to the gratitude journal.
- Establishing a routine right away
I struggled with keeping a routine last semester, so I’m working extra hard to correct it now. On day three of the semester, I was at the business college sorting through emails and downloading software for classes. I didn’t have any actual homework to do, but being in a productive environment for a few hours every day helps get me into the mindset to get work done. When I eventually have homework to do, I will already have a routine established to keep myself on track.
- Setting limits on homework
I am a firm hater of doing homework all day and into the night. By blocking out the afternoon/evening hours for homework, my body is awake and my mind is focused on the tasks in front of me. I try to take a few short brain breaks as well, which I have found helps me stay on task. I stretch my legs, use the restroom, grab a snack, etc. to get away from all the screens constantly in front of me. When I hit a wall around/after dinner time, I stop for the day. Half-assing work just for the sake of getting it done doesn’t allow me to absorb the information I’m paying thousands of dollars to learn. This applies to work for my extracurriculars, as well.
- Burning incense instead of candles
I don’t think there is any scientific reason for this one, but I like the vibe of incense more than candles right now. When burning a candle, I have to commit to a scent for at least an hour, make sure it burns around the edges to avoid tunneling, and a lot of scents are pungent and perfumey. With incense, the scent is more earthy and natural, less overwhelming, and it burns through on its own. I received a set of incense sticks for Christmas that correspond to the seven chakras, and I’ve been enjoying selecting a chakra depending on the mood I’m setting.
- Writing down EVERYTHING
I’ve used a planner for both personal and academic reasons since I was in middle school. I fell off of this habit in the past year, but I would argue that this is the most important thing to my success. In addition to using a planner to organize my school work, I have started designing laptop backgrounds with my schedule and goals for each semester. I also have a catch-all journal that I use for lists and diary entries as well as mini sticky notes for quick ideas I want to bring up at a later time. When I’m feeling overwhelmed and want to get my thoughts out of my head and onto paper, I write. When I have ideas for Her Campus articles or meeting ideas, I write. When I want to remind myself of something, I write. This helps me keep my thoughts organized while giving me tangible reminders of things I need to do.
Losing a loved one is hard, and grieving while trying to keep up with life is even harder. As a college student with a lot on my plate, I knew that I had to make an effort to keep myself together. By implementing these habits, I have felt more in control over each day as well as my mind and body. I plan on experimenting with other ways to cope, as it is still early in the semester and grieving process, but I am happy with what these main five habits have been doing for me. I recommend any of them to anyone – not just for those going through a hard time. Taking care of ourselves is hard and important work, regardless of what life throws at us.