It was that time of the year again: February, the month housing Valentine’s Day, where people decide to show their love to their significant other. For some, looking back at this month maybe irrelevant as they believe love should be shown every day and sweet gestures should happen often. For some, it may have represented a milestone in their relationship: maybe it was their first romantic date together or the first time they got their significant other a gift that they hopefully liked. For some, February was a reminder of how single they are and the loneliness hit them like never before. This article is targeted towards the latter, my reason being that I was talking to a few of my friends as we reminisced on the month of February and they brought up spending Valentine’s Day without a significant other. While being in a relationship is a wonderful thing, why does it feel so taboo for women who aren’t in one? When did being single become a bad thing?
As a somewhat hopeless romantic, I will admit that I do dream of the perfect date. My guy would show up at my door and ring the doorbell. I’d open the door and upon seeing me his jaw would hit the floor. He’d lead me to his car and then he’d open the door and close it after me. Then we’d drive to a nice restaurant and start our night with a candlelight dinner, and we’d laugh the entire night as we reminisce about our experiences together. Then, maybe we’d walk in the park while holding hands as we gaze at the stars and try to identify constellations. Then we’d…. before I get carried away and end up writing about my perfect date instead, let me explain why that was relevant. I too want the same thing that you ladies want. One day we will have that. Until then, let’s just enjoy being single.
Here are four reasons why being single isn’t such a bad thing:
- You have time to focus on you
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Assignments and studying take up most of our time. Another portion goes towards spending time with friends and engaging in extracurricular activities. Imagine adding a boyfriend to that equation and having to set aside time for him too. If no one told you, being in a relationship is work. And if you disagree, I’ll just direct you to my suitemate who is always arguing with her boyfriend. Instead of being sad that you don’t have a guy in your life, take this time for yourself. Do things that you like; no compromise needed. Go where you want to go. Watch what you want to watch. Use this additional time for you: do a face mask, watch Korean dramas, read your Bible and even waste time attempting that hairstyle you knew you can’t do. Moreover, by focusing on you, you learn how to be comfortable with you.
- You have time to figure out what you want
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With all the free time that comes with being single, you can truly take time to examine your life and think about what you want out of life, including relationships. Do you want a guy who wears socks in his shoes? Do you want a guy who opens the door for you? Do you want a guy who goes out of his way to make you happy? You can also examine the relationships around you and identify the different types of guys, what qualities you admire in a guy and what you don’t. That way when the right guy does come around, you’ll be able to recognize him.
- You can focus on forming or strengthening friendships
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For a long while, I felt like I didn’t need friends. Now that I’m older and wiser, I realize the popular saying ‘No man is an island’ is very true. You don’t necessarily need a lot of friends, but you do need a few good ones that you can count on. You need someone that you can laugh with, have good conversations with and confide in. You are going to need a friend that you trust to give you sensible advice when that guy that you’re going to date in the future will make you frustrated or give you a headache [and he will make you frustrated/no guy is perfect]. So, use this free time that comes with being single to make lifelong friends that you can depend on.
- You’re not settling
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You should be proud of yourself for being single. There are guys in all crooks and nicks, so being single is a testament that you aren’t a woman who will settle for anyone [for the sake of dating]. It isn’t fun being in a relationship where you’re unhappy because someone isn’t treating you well, or their lifestyle and values are incompatible with yours. It is better to wait for someone who will make you happy. You are a strong woman as you have recognized that.
Too often are women in relationships where they aren’t happy because they feel lonely. They endure emotional abuse and they lower their standards. I have friends who constantly cry to me about the guys they’re dating and I always ask: why don’t you just break up with him? Most of the time they tell me that they just don’t want to be single, which always leaves me in utter shock. Is it a crime to be single? It absolutely is not! And anyone or anything that made you feel like that is the true criminal. So, my lovelies, do not pine after anyone. Being single can be so fun [someone once told me this: fun is a choice]. Enjoy focusing on you, figuring out what you want, strengthening and forming friendships, and rejoicing in the fact that you’re a strong woman who isn’t settling for any guy.