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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Montclair chapter.

Our whole lives we are told people come and go. When you are entering middle school you gain new friends and drift from old ones. This happens again entering high school as well as college. However, there are those few people that you cling to from early ages in hopes they will be around forever. 

Once you hit college and still have friends from your elementary and middle school ages you think they’re going to be around the rest of your life. However, this is the time in life when you really need to put yourself; which means you should gain some new perspective on who in your life is a healthy relationship. 

Around college age, people start to really understand who they are and the kind of people they want to surround themselves with. You really start to realize who is a positive aspect in life and who you just cling to because they’ve been around for years.

People change. Which is totally okay, that’s just life. So if you find yourself realizing that people you’ve considered best friends for years just aren’t worth hanging onto anymore, then let them go. Sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go. 

The right people appreciate you, value you, your energy, and your time. They cherish you, believe in you, and support you in any way they can. They don’t make excuses and their actions speak louder than their words. That’s how you know who’s meant to stay in your life. 

You just have to learn to let go, because not everyone is meant to stay in your life. Friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about who came into your life and never left your side.

You also have to realize that being “selfish” and cutting people off is okay. Cutting off people you’ve called family is not hard if you’re fed up with the way you’ve been treated. Having a history does not mean you should keep people around if they treat you badly. 

Now is the time in your life to be selfish and create relationships that are worth having. People will give you reasons to let them go because it may be time for you to realize they aren’t meant to stay.

Just remember to put yourself first, and surround yourself with people who make you feel like the best version of yourself. You don’t deserve anything less than that.

Lydia Parker is currently a Seniorr here at Montclair State studying as an English major; who is also currently getting her Masters in Education. Like any other college girl she loves going out with friends, but also just staying in and binge-watching Netflix; specifically horror or Disney movies. Writing has always been a favorite hobby of hers, she even enjoys writing essays for school. I know, crazy right? Anyways, she's really excited to be writing for this magazine, and being another outlet for the powerful voices that women have.