You know that feeling you get when you are listening to someone and they say something that makes you totally change your perspective? And then your left sitting there completely mind-blown and questioning everything about how you’ve been living? I’ve been there before. One time at church, a guest pastor visiting said something that changed me.
“And at the beginning of the verse Ephesians 4:32, it tells us to be kind to one another. Imagine if we could be more kind to one another, how many rough patches in life would be taken away.” the guest pastor at my church exclaimed.
When he said that, something broke in me. While I try my best to think positively and like to think that I am a nice person, that isn’t always the case with me. At this moment, I realized that my thought process and the way I internalize things when something negative happens in my life happens is the one thing that keeps me from being nice and living positively.
The pastor’s simple sentence encouraged me to make a 180-degree turn in my life.
Listen Before I React or Speak
When I would have a difficult conversation with someone and didn’t like what I heard, I would not always react properly. In the end, this would cause unnecessary tension between both parties. So I taught myself to just stop, breathe, and listen. Now when I get into sticky situations with others, I listen to what their side of the issue was so I can understand.
I got a fuller picture of everything and I could respond better to them. I now can see a more effective and positive reaction when I communicate with others this way. Fewer feelings are hurt, both parties know how to hear each other, and we can solve the issue together. In difficult conversations, it’s better to be kind and considerate of the other person instead of thinking about your own needs.
Forgiving Others
The one thing I did was change my perspective on the people who have hurt me. I struggled on how to heal from what they did, so I had a never-ending bitterness towards them that had turned into resentment. Holding on to this, affected my current relationships with people who care about me and prevented me from letting new people into my life.
As much as it was hard to do, I learned that I needed to forgive them in order to enjoy all the good people and things around me. Soon any feelings of sadness, anger, or jealousy I had towards that person faded away. I now try to reflect on the good times we had and treat the bad times as now lessons. I’ve learned to move on, wish nothing but the best for them and focus on the people who bring sunshine into my life.
Being Aware of My Actions and Words
Just like the saying, “Treat others the way you want to be treated”, I try to truly live by this and incorporate it into my lifestyle. Whether I know someone or don’t, whether that person likes me or not, I’ve decided to be nice to them. If I am going to talk, I will choose my words wisely and try not to make it offensive. I will try to make sure my actions won’t hurt someone any kind of way.
And if things go awry, I know how to try my best to handle them. If someone gives me criticism about myself, I will try to listen and see if what they said can help benefit me in becoming better before fighting them. I take accountability for my actions if I have hurt someone and not try to deny it. Our words and actions are powerful and can stay with someone forever. I want to be remembered as kind and positive not the opposite, so I strive to be that.
In the end, when I started to pay more attention to how I treated others, my relationships with others grew and became more positive. I’m not always stressed or feared that I may lose someone over my words or actions. I learned how to control my feelings towards people who have hurt me and no longer allow myself to judge them. At the end of the day, everyone just wants to be respected, heard, and loved. Who am I to give someone the opposite? No one deserves to feel that way, but unfortunately in life, it happens. However, if you are kind, positive, and more understanding of others every day, the more you spread more togetherness and love into the world.