To: Panic! At The Disco,
I didn’t expect to write this farewell love letter in March of 2023, but Panic! has ended after a wonderful 18-year run. The band, you don’t know me, and I don’t know you personally. However, you’ve been living in my atmosphere for quite some time. You all sort of hit my world like an asteroid at the perfect time for me as I was evolving into someone new. At 18, in high school, I started to feel like the group’s outsider/a bit depressed, becoming more emo. Everything from black, leather, skulls and moody songs became a part of who I was then and a bit today. However, I didn’t have an emo leader to look up to then, and that’s when my next door neighbor introduced me to you.
The first video my next door neighbor made me watch was “Say Amen (Saturday Night),” and what really hooked me watching that video was when Brendon sang the high note at the end of the song, and my brain went fuzzy and felt like it was on a high. It was nothing I had ever experienced before. That’s when I got the sense that Panic! was a missing puzzle piece from my soul, and when we collided, it was a perfect match and special. It became even clearer after I watched “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” and how everything came together with the creative production, music and singing. It was almost like how my mind works; it was beautiful.
However, “High Hopes” was the greatest piece that really struck my heart and soul. I don’t think I can use any words to describe how much this song truly moves me. I can only tell you some experiences this song has been through with me, perhaps in a way that can tell you how it means to me. First, High Hopes was played as I threw my cap in the air as I graduated high school, then it helped me through my last fourth open-heart surgery. Next, the song was there through my depression, when I had mono and the coronavirus (COVID-19) and even helped me choose my career path. It has become my life anthem when everything seems like it has gone to sh*t, High Hopes especially, and the rest of Panic’s discography has been there with me. All of your songs have a special meaning to me, and it would take a million more pages to explain why. Nonetheless, I want to thank you for your time and service in creating and performing them for all the “Vros” and “Sinners” of the world.
It will feel a bit uneasy for a while knowing that there will be no new Panic! songs ever coming. However, your music will play on for generations coming; I will make sure of it. I am so happy though I got to see you guys at least once before the break-up in 2022 at Madison Square Garden; the best night of my life was my second concert, and thankfully, I did not lose my voice. I’ve even met some fantastic Vros through Panic! and met them that night. I am forever grateful for them; they are all truly amazing.
Now for some individual short notes to the band and crew…
To Jake Chams: You are the first photographer I have followed and enjoyed. Everything from nature to concert snaps has been gorgeous and captures personality in a way I have never seen before. I am so thankful you are still here. I have enjoyed your recent sketches, life updates and new, fun Insta page. Keep up the excellent work, and I can’t wait to see what projects you have coming up.
To Dan, Nicole, and Mike: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a part of Panic! If you three were not a part of it; it would be a travesty, and I probably would have never found any of you. Your guys’ talent is so beyond, and I am proud of every one of you. From the drums, guitar, bass and vocals, it was a perfect match made in heaven for this band, and I am so excited to see where you all go next. Whereever you go, I’ll make sure to listen to whoever scoops you up. You guys rock!
To Brendon Urie: Where to start with you! Thank you for being there for me and with me through the years. Thank you for being so kind and caring to the Vros and me. Thank you for writing some of the best emo hits! Thank you for wiring my life anthem, which helps keep me shooting for the stars. Thank you for hanging on Twitch and acknowledging me. I was Star50000, by the way. A million more thank you’s would not be enough to show how much I appreciate you. I hope you, Sarah, doggos and your newest family member have a fantastic life full of love and peace. You deserve it, Brendon, after 18 years of hard work. I will wholeheartedly miss you, and no one will ever replace the spot in my heart for you.