Every time you go out, you want to invite your friends, right? But what if no one is around, are you just going to miss out on something really cool because you don’t want to go alone? It’s difficult to get into the right headspace when you go out by yourself. It was even difficult for me for a long time and it was even worse with my anxiety coming into play. However, I made it happen with baby steps and here was my process.
Sometimes it’s nice not to plan every single thing you do and doing things spontaneously won’t give you time to think about every possibility that could happen. The easiest thing to do without much thought is just going to get food at a place you like. You might get weird looks from the hostess in the beginning but once you can overcome that and enjoy your meal, you won’t care as much anymore. Once you go out for food by yourself, you’ll realize just how common it is and that no one is paying attention.
Go for a walk and see what’s going on. This Saturday, take a walk, without headphones in, and take in all the sights. I’ve stumbled upon a few flyers for events just because I’ve been attentive to my surroundings (or I actually forgot my headphones). Since I’ve so many of these events by chance, I haven’t had enough time to invite people so I go on my own.
Museums are amazing to go to by yourself! Since everyone is looking at the art, no one is paying attention to what is going on around them. You can go at your own pace and visit all the parts of the museum that would normally get glazed over in a large group.
Go to a spa and treat yourself. Check out Groupon deals! There are a lot of package deals for one person that includes a massage, facial, and so many other things. By going on your own, you’re fully relaxing and getting out of your headspace. Go out somewhere, but plan to invite a friend later if you need it. In the beginning, a buffer is needed. I started going out on my own and only limited it to about 45 minutes. You don’t need to push yourself and go out for hours (but if you do, that’s amazing!) Sometimes I have gone out and about somewhere but invited a friend to meet later on. It gives you peace of mind and that soon, someone will be with you and it’s only a limited amount of time!
As you go on to do more and more things on your own, you’ll understand your pace. You’ll start to figure out what you do like and what you won’t do again. Over time, I’ve figured out I what to bring depending on where m going by myself. To the spa? A good book, snacks and I tend to pack as lightly as possible. To the museum? A camera, a book, and a water bottle. I have also branched out and started going to plays, live orchestral performances, jazz nights, and other things I wouldn’t have gone to otherwise, but was always interested in. The only opinion and interest that matters is yours because the plan is decided by solely you!
My confidence has soared higher than ever because I realized people don’t care that much and you should do whatever is fun for yourself! It’s great to feel comfortable and to have the freedom to arrive and leave whenever you want to. You can even decide to cancel on yourself last minute and you won’t need an excuse! Another thing to keep in mind is if a friend cancels on you but you wanted to go somewhere, you can just continue the plans solo! The beauty of going out alone is you do what you want when you want to!
Now, make a promise to yourself and do at least one thing on your own, it might be hard at first but you’ll thank yourself later on! You’ll find out more about yourself and maybe even strike up a conversation with people.