Lockers slamming shut, pubescent kids crowding in narrow hallways, and still wondering if that smell is coming from you or the guy that just came back from PE and passed behind you — WAIT! What? This feeling of insecurity is all too familiar, yet normal. All I can think of is high school.
It’s been almost 2 years since I’ve left high school. When I was a kid, it was this place that symbolized where I’ll finally be considered a “cool kid” and fit in with “cool people.” I soon realized I didn’t need to be “cool,” or whatever else others wanted me to be for them.
After high school, I needed to push the restart button desperately. I was stuck in this hole, where I thought if a certain group of people liked me and if I acted a certain way towards them, they would be my friend… but that wasn’t me. That wasn’t who I was or how I wanted to make friends, so I decided to change to I could reinvent myself, and this is how I did it.
Be Honest with Yourself
In the beginning of my journey to reinventing myself, I knew that I wasn’t able to be myself around the majority of people in my life. The expectations from my family and friends meant everything to me. For example, my friends first impression of me was that I was a calm, nice, and an unproblematic person, until I started sharing my opinions and wanted to have deeper conversations with them, and suddenly I was the opposite.
I started to grow at this point and I needed new friends to understand me, but I knew they would talk behind my back and give out a false perception of who I was. I had to admit to myself first that this wasn’t who I was, since this other person I was trying to be wasn’t “too weird” or “suddenly fake.” To admit that I needed to grow and change to become a better and mature person, helped me to grow out of this group.
Ask Yourself: Who Do You Want to Be?
The 15 year old version of me was innocent and nice, but didn’t have any deep layers to her like the 20 year old version of me does. After I admitted to myself that I wanted to be a better person and let go of the toxicity in my life, I needed to refocus. University was the next time for me and I started planning out realistic career choices. This was important, but I wanted to make sure that any path I chose was a flexible one for the many hobbies I have.
I was good at creating: from playing guitar at a young age, becoming a music lover, to appreciating all types of art. I soon found writing during this crisis and I started writing short stories, poems, and even reading more books like I did once upon a time. My interest in fashion, like looking at editorials and keeping up with certain brands I love, grew, along with my knowledge for it.
I wanted to gain confidence too, so I took the required speech class in university. Speaking in a room filled with people I didn’t know, oddly comforted me. I soon felt more at peace with my delivery, and I became more comfortable with myself through this class. After this semester, I declared my major and concentration as Marketing at the business school. This step stemmed from being honest with myself, and this meant understanding and evaluating what I’m good at and what will be the best fit for my personality. It’s hard to figure this out, but having drive and focus will lead you to wherever you want to go. The rest will follow with time, as patience is a virtue.
Find a Strong Support System
Friends, family, and even a stranger you met in line during your morning coffee run, could serve as a support system. The key to building my support system came from trust, empathy, and honesty are the most important aspects. Deciding who gets your trust most likely comes from a family member or a best friend, but what’s important in support systems is if you are reciprocating that trust. Being able to share mutual feelings, helps to also build the honesty within a relationship. This usually lead to putting you in their support system and creates a relationship also built off of mutual trust. My support system was a major factor for my growth when I was in my identity crisis, and helps to give you comfort as it’s just another way of saying you shouldn’t go through things alone, and it’s okay to take time to work on yourself.
These are only a few steps that will you help you reach your greatness. The growth and change awaiting you are two big events most young and older adults are going through every day. There will be euphoria from understanding yourself more, especially when that realization hits you that you’ve changed your mindset for the betterment of your life… and to think, that there’s more yet to be discovered. 2018 was alright, but 2019, oh wow, she is full of potential and greatness.
After all, God is a woman.