By Kyra VandenHeuvel
What do you think is the most challenging part of moving to a place you have been to once or twice or maybe never? Maybe not knowing the language or trying to figure out what is for dinner?
My name is Kyra and I had to adapt from meals being ready when I got home from school to try getting to the dining hall before they close. I will admit it’s a little intimidating when you were babied for all your 18-19 years of living and your parents just plop you somewhere then leave. I am here to give you the best advice I can to help you through this dramatic change but also give you ideas on how you can make it the best time of your life!
My story starts at a community college in New Jersey. I graduated in May with my AFA in Fine Arts with a concentration in fashion design. I then decided to transfer to a four-year university, Montclair State University, to be exact. I was very excited about this new opportunity! However, some people have difficulty adjusting to change. The first night here I missed dinner because I wasn’t sure what time they closed and I wasn’t even sure if my meal plan was active yet. So I had Doritos and Sour Patch Kids for dinner and watched “One Piece” in my room. To be honest, I was content but still kind of mad they closed dinner at 7:30 p.m.
So far, what I’ve found out about being older and a transfer is that everyone has already established their groups. They know where everything is and they know the do’s and don’ts of the campus. It feels like you’re just there and everyone else is just going around you. It honestly sucks, definitely if you’re like me. I am a shy person, most of the reason is that I like to examine a room before I actually consider making a move. It takes a while for me to make that decision too. So to make up for my timidness, I decided to get involved with student life; joining clubs and sports, applying for jobs and so on.
Clubs are a great way to make friends! To me, it’s easier to examine a smaller group of people than a big group. I decided to join three clubs here on campus and play rec tennis. I also attend campus events! It’s okay to go to these events alone. If it interests you then GO! You don’t know who you will meet there! Recently, I actually went to a pajama painting party, it was pretty fun! They had pizza too!
Another piece of advice for making friends is to use social media. This is tricky because you never know who you’re dealing with on the internet nowadays, however, you would be shocked at how many people you can meet! My university is big on the app “GroupMe” as a way of communication. On the app, there are public groups that anyone can join! You can also join your graduating class’s Facebook or Instagram and connect with people there. I’ll repeat myself again though, be cautious if you decide to take this route but also have fun and be yourself!
My last piece of advice if you’re struggling with feeling alone is to phone an old friend or find something you like to do. Whether it’s making music, dancing, drawing, writing, painting, whatever it is, make it happen. Do not lose yourself or hobbies you like due to loneliness. This feeling won’t be forever, and I promise you that. I was very lonely during the first three weeks here and just wanted to stay home but I knew that the day would come when I would start opening up. I’ve been on campus for about a month now and I’m just starting to make friends from clubs, on-campus events and media friends. I’m sorry to break the news to you too, college life is not like how it is in the movies. That’s why I’m here to say do not give up, it will definitely get better. You’ll start to learn how the college operates and how students get involved. Once that ball gets rolling the two or four years will flash before your eyes and the time for you to throw the graduation cap in the air will be here!