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Asking for a Friend — Building Stronger Communication

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Montclair chapter.

“Asking for a friend” is a popular phrase when we’re asking the hardest questions. While still asking a question you claim to be asking for a friend, in actuality you are asking for yourself. This is becoming more and more popular over the years and is used in some serious and not so serious situations that people face every day. This segment is meant for Montclair State all Collegiettes who have had to “ask for a friend.”

Asking for a Friend: Dear Asking for a Friend, in a previous article that talked about people being bad at responding to messages, my friend is talking to this boy and he texts her everyday. When she texts him back he takes hours to reply. He told her that it’s because he doesn’t pay attention to his phone. They are not a couple but she just wishes he would text back faster. What do you think she should do? She likes him and she knows he likes her.

Okay Collegiette, if you have been keeping up, in the very first “Asking for a Friend,” we discussed moving out of the friend zone which can consist of valuing each other’s flaws — which could, of course, include not responding to messages as frequently. Don’t worry because I am here to give you some good advice on how to handle this situation.

We all have that special person that has a hard time texting back or responding in general and we don’t necessarily want to be the one to double or even triple text but maybe in most cases, we have to. Some people may think you are crazy for messaging a million times but this is 2019, we can no longer sit aside and wait for our prince charming to make a move — if we want to be heard then we shall be heard. My advice, Collegiette is to get straight to the point and ask them why are they texting so slow or responding so late. If you don’t like the excuse than you let them know how unacceptable it is.

Set them straight, if you both have strong feelings for each other point them out. This is where you lay out all your feelings on the table, tell them how you are feeling about how things are between you two. Tell them you have accepted their flaws and you believe that some of them can be worked on, but don’t just blame them for their flaws either. If they sees certain things you need to work on as well both of you can come to a compromise. Communication is key!

Collegiette, it is time to be a lioness, independent, fierce, loyal, brave, strong, graceful, and agile. All of these qualities represent who you are, and who we are as women. 2019 is the year of boldness, so text them, give them an ultimatum. You let them know how you are feeling and how their negative actions are making you uncomfortable, guide one another into reconstructing your flaws and have a game plan on how you both can communicate better. It may be tough to get through one another, but it’s not easy being a bold lioness.  

Email askingforafriendhcm@gmail.com, for any advice you may need.

“Asking for a Friend” is always here to help. Your confidentiality is very important to us, so in every email and article posted you will always remain anonymous.

Tatiana Ricks

Montclair '21

My name is Tatiana Ricks I was born and raised in Philadelphia. I enjoy learning from others and researching the latest trends, I admire self-love, books, and healing myself spiritually.