Similar to happiness, body positivity is a journey intended to have highs and lows. The mistakes people make with these emotions is that they expect them to never be fleeting. In reality, happiness, just like sadness, is temporary. The same applies to body positivity. It is alright to feel really crummy about your physical appearance some days. Growing up, I was overweight and had to face the repercussions of that for years to come. I overate when I was stressed, I overate when I was sad, and I even overate when I was happy. Whatever emotion you can name, I probably overate when I felt it.
I remember the exact moment I wanted to make a change and aim for a healthier lifestyle. At the time, I wanted to lose weight for superficial reasons. I was about to enter the sixth grade, when my older sister was trying on jeans with me at the mall. I remember asking my mom, “Why do her jeans look so much smaller than mine?” In the back of my mind, I knew why. My sister has always been petite, and the same applied for my younger sisters. I was always the chubby one in the family, and as a young girl that took a toll on my self-esteem.
When I was a child I tried to cope with these insecurities by using humor and putting on a show, fulfilling the stereotype of a chubby but funny girl. When I was about to enter middle school, I felt this pressure to be liked by boys and have a lot of friends. Mind you I was a measly eleven year old. Even when I lost 30 pounds and was my smallest weight in seventh grade, I still felt larger than everyone else. I’d like to call this tragedy the “fat kid mindset” because even when an overweight person sheds off the weight, they may feel like they never did.
I look back at old photos and see how slim I was at my smallest weight and realize how ridiculous youth is. It is undoubtedly wasted on the young. Even in high school, girls may find themselves covering up more because they feel too fat to wear a form fitting shirt. I know I was like that at one point or another, and still am sometimes.
I truly believe that body positivity comes from a place of unconditional acceptance with oneself. As I get older, I find myself busy with so many other things that my body is the least of my worries. I have finally found purpose within my life, and things that drive me to succeed, whether that be creative outlets or relationships. It is exhausting seeing everyone trying to fit a popular beauty ideal, when we all are different for a reason. My stomach is far from flat. I have a small chest, and I have veiny legs that I used to hate as an awkward middle schooler. And sometimes I still hate all of these things. But sometimes I don’t.