Lately, I’ve been internally over-emotional about the changes that have been happening around me. They have been things that I knew were coming but didn’t want to accept. When December came around and a few of my friends graduated, I was ecstatic for them, but I was sad for myself. I knew that everything would be different from that point on. I began to mourn the loss of the tight-knit group of friends I had all of junior year, you really don’t know what you have until it’s gone. I’d never really had a close group of girlfriends before and never knew how to get along with them, but this group was different and we were all so similar that it was easy.
One friend moved to Colorado and is living her BEST life, but I don’t hear much from her anymore. Another, my roommate, is moving out of our apartment and working on finding a Big Girl job. Another already started her Big Girl job and works 40 hours a week. She is kicking ass but I don’t see her as often as I used to. And the final one, while she isn’t graduated quite yet, but will be in the spring, I don’t see often either, and we live together. And I know when she graduates she won’t be in the area anymore. I get frustrated thinking about the fact that none of us are as close as we used to be because it feels like no one is making the effort. I get upset about it a lot because it feels like I don’t even have friends anymore. And especially with me not graduating until December it seems like everyone is moving on without me and outgrowing the friendship. I know that none of these are the case and everyone is just moving on to different parts of their lives. I’m happy watching them all grow and succeed in everything they are doing but it’s hard to not get discouraged about the status of our friendship. I know change is inevitable and for now I am dealing with it, but it’s hard not to feel a certain way about it because that’s normal and I won’t apologize.