As life goes on, we can experience a variety of relationships that teach us lessons. Breakups are bound to happen, but that does not make them hurt any less. Whether you are grieving a situationship or a long-term relationship, breakups can take a difficult toll on your mental well-being. After going through my own experience with the breakup of a long-term relationship, I understand how difficult it is to heal. Here are some ways to take action and help you love yourself after a breakup.
LET YOURSELF CRY IT OUT
Though sometimes this can feel defeating, allowing yourself to feel every emotion and be vulnerable is so important. There were times where I would be doing homework and a flashbulb memory would appear in my head and my only reaction was to cry. Putting on an album you know will make you feel all of the feelings? Completely okay. It might be really frustrating to feel the emotions at such random times, but allow yourself the space and time to sit with your feelings and let it all go. The tears you shed may be out of sadness, anger, guilt, regret or frustration, but all of those feelings are valid. Eventually, those reminders will become less painful and turn into reminders of a distant memory you may (or may not) cherish.Â
EXERCISE THE SADNESS AWAY
I know going to the gym can feel like the most difficult task, but once you actually get up and go you feel so much better. Not only are you putting all of those feelings to good use, but your body is releasing endorphins as you work out that produce feelings of euphoria and well-being. This can be any workout classes that the MizzouRec offers, going on a walk through one of the many beautiful trails in Missouri or lifting weights. Even going to work out with your friends can become a new, fun way to be active while having a good time. Getting back in the gym was one of the best choices I could have made for myself and my body because I channeled most of my misplaced emotions into one activity. By the end of each workout, I felt a different level of strength each time. Nothing is more rewarding than when your consistency pays off and you start to see real progress.Â
SPEND TIME WITH LOVED ONES
The people you surround yourself with are so important in times of need. Your loved ones may be family or close friends, but those who love you will show up for you when you need it the most. When you feel such high emotions, having those around you to ground you will make a difference in how you process a breakup. Going out shopping, eating at a restaurant or having a debrief with your loved ones can help you move on and create fun memories in the midst of heartbreak. When helping my friends during their breakups, we made sure to have as many girls’ nights as possible where we could order food and have a massive debrief. When you find the right people, they show you what healthy love looks like, whether that be romantic or platonic!Â
JOURNAL ALL THE FEELS!
I started journaling as soon as I got to college, but very quickly learned how great a resource it is to write down everything you are feeling! The great thing about journaling is that it cannot judge you and only you know what you write. If you want to be blunt or just write down every word that comes to your mind, you’re allowed. This can help relieve any stress or weight on your shoulders that you might be too scared to talk about just yet. Even if you think your thoughts are embarrassing, it can help you feel better about putting your thoughts and feelings together. Having a space for you and only you will not only help you in the present, but you can look back and see all the progress you have made.
While these are merely suggestions, breakups and heartbreak are always unpredictable. Although you may feel isolated, know that you are not alone in this experience. There is no cure, but remember the beautiful person you are inside and out. Love will find its way back to you!