On July 23, 2025, Cami Sophia, the owner of the “With Intention” podcast, released an episode titled “How to date yourself and fall in love with YOU.” This article is going to take the tips and tricks from Cami’s podcast and make it easier for you, as a college student, to take advantage of her advice.
Before we can talk about how to “date ourselves,” we first need to understand why it matters. The goal of this article is to teach you how to show yourself love before entering a relationship. Learning self-love is essential because it helps you understand your boundaries and comfort levels, build genuine confidence and self-awareness and develop emotional intelligence. It teaches you how to manage your emotions, recognize your own red flags and work through them. When you truly know and care for yourself, you set a positive tone for every healthy relationship that follows.
While learning self-love helps you build a strong foundation for healthy relationships, it’s also important to recognize that being in a relationship can sometimes blur the lines between your identity and your partner’s. The closer you become with another individual, the more you begin to think of yourself as not just “me” but “us.” This is known as mutuality, and while it’s healthy for your romantic relationships, it’s equally important to stay true to yourself within them. So, by learning these tips before entering a relationship, you are establishing a healthy routine that allows you to be yourself outside of the person you are with your partner.
Schedule Intentional “Me Time”
In Cami’s podcast, she says to physically schedule time into your week for “me time,” but as students (between classes and student organizations), we don’t always have a clear vision of our week. That’s why I think it is much easier to wait until you have free time and, instead of going out with your friends for the fourth time this week, spend that time furthering your relationship with yourself.
Set aside your laptop and books and spend an hour a week just focusing on yourself. Dress up in something cute, do your hair and makeup and take yourself on a date to a cafe. When you’re feeling low energy, trade your “date” for a cozy skin care movie night! Take yourself out for dinner and a movie, even if it’s just dinner at a fast food joint and a last-minute movie at a nearby theater. Take a long, hot everything shower (or bath, if you have that luxury). Treat yourself to a date that you would want someone else to treat you to.
Everyday Rituals
Cami asked her listeners to think of how they want their partner to treat them every day and give themselves that kind of love. Does your partner compliment your appearance? Do they cook you a hearty meal? Do they surprise you with something you’d love?
In college, it can be easy to forget to take care of yourself beyond the basics. That’s why it’s important to create a habit of everyday kindness to yourself. Instead of asking, “Why don’t I look like all the other girls?” when getting dressed in the morning, ask yourself, “Why do I look good in everything I wear?” These kinds of practices eventually become routine, and like the “fake it till you make it” technique, you’ll begin to believe it and grow love for yourself, because if your partner wouldn’t speak to you that way, why should you? You deserve the same kindness and respect from yourself that you expect from anyone else.
Read a Book for your Education
Cami suggests reading “101 Essays to Change the Way You Think,” and while this may be a good read and practice, college kids don’t always have time to write a creative essay on top of all our other school-mandated ones.
I suggest listening to audiobooks through various locations like your local library, Spotify, YouTube and LibriVox. These outlets are cheap (or free!), easy to use and you don’t have to leave campus to go check out a book. Some audiobooks I have been loving recently are “Self-love” by Anna Bridges and “10 Minutes a Day Self-Love for Women” by Kitty Barrett.
These suggestions merely scratch the surface of what self-love can look like. I encourage you to take your journey seriously by noting what works for you in your day-to-day life and thinking not only about how this will improve your romantic relationships but also about how it allows you to strengthen your relationship with yourself.
“You cannot expect someone else to understand all of this about you if you don’t even understand it about yourself. The whole point of dating yourself is to get to know yourself, because you are the one person that spends the most time with you, okay?”
Cami Sophia