As a senior in college, I feel as if I should have my life together. In the movies I grew up watching, the older students always hung out with friends, attended classes, worked hard, and never seemed to get discouraged. But in real life, almost everyone senior I talk to is feeling the complete opposite of this fictional image. We don’t know what’s happening, when anything is happening, or how we’re going to get through it all.
These are thoughts that are revolving around my head constantly, as if they are racecars on a track looping around my brain. I easily get caught up in doing things for others. I will go out of my way to do something for someone, often times neglecting things on my personal to-do list. This sacrifice of my time and energy typically doesn’t get to me. But lately, this feeling of not having my life together coupled with my insanely busy schedule has me feeling much more worn down.
As I was walking back to my apartment after a long day of classes, a realization hit me seemingly out of nowhere, as if it fell from the sky above and hit me on the head. I need to start doing things for me.
This year is a year of lasts. My last football game, my last late night Taco Bell run with my roommates, my last Her Campus meeting. I should be spending this time ensuring my self-growth and self love rather than getting caught up in what others think of me and what I can do to influence their opinions. So what if someone thinks I am not conventionally attractive? Or what if someone thinks I raise my hand too much in class? Shouldn’t we all be more concerned with how we can better ourselves?
While this concept can be taken selfishly, that is not my intention. I think that the idea of doing things for yourself can be misconstrued, especially on social media. While I see plenty of tweets talking about dropping people and only talking about your successes, I disagree with that. Doing things for yourself doesn’t have to be a selfish thing. It is still important to treat others with respect and kindness and listen to others when they are hurting from your actions. In retrospect, taking care of yourself will result in bettering your friendships, relationships, and more.
I wanted to share a quick list of things I plan on doing for myself this month. It’s important to start small to avoid feeling burnt out or overwhelmed. My small list of things includes reading before bed, writing for myself, and listening to my body and my brain. These aren’t things I am doing so that I look good to other people. I don’t want to worry about whether or not a stranger walking down the street thinks I have my life together. All that matters is what I think.
So to tie my rambling up with a bow, I strongly encourage you to sit down and think of three small things you can start doing for yourself. Maybe it’s something unique to you. Maybe it’s using more facemasks. No matter the case, do it for you. Here’s to a year of self growth, acceptance, and love.
HCXO, Hannah N.
All images courtesy of Giphy.com