I recently just moved into an apartment with my boyfriend. It has been one of the best decisions of my life. COVID-19 has affected all our lives in so many ways and any little slivers of happiness and hope are welcomed.
It is however, an adjustment to be living with someone. I have had a little bit of an easier time because I lived with Andrew and his family during the first initial quarantine. But, living on your own with just each other can be challenging. These are my tips so far if you are thinking about moving in with your boyfriend/girlfriend, just did, or there are some bumps in the road so far.
This article will be a little shorter than it normally would be, there is a lot going on in my world right now, but these are the 5 key things I have held onto so far living with my significant other!
- COMMUNICATION
-
You have to talk to each other. There needs to be open and honest channels of communication between the both of you. When you move in with someone, especially someone you have never lived with, talking things through is essential. Make sure you are talking about feelings, concerns, wants, needs, and plans. A relationship is already a hard thing to keep above water but living with someone day-in and day-out is a whole new commitment. If both of you do not communicate then it is going to go downhill really fast.
Also, you should want to be talking in the first place and you should feel comfortable to speak your mind to your partner; if not, then why are you together in the first place? Why on earth are you living together? Happiness within this scenario is key.
- FUN
-
When you move in with someone there will always be challenges and things that go wrong. My boyfriend’s mom calls them “real world adult problems”. There is a huge need for fun and lightheartedness within your living situation. Just because you live together and are paying bills, and everything seems so serious doesn’t mean EVERYTHING is. Remember the reason you’re living together…you love each other (or you should). Fun should be something that happens often and freely. It is the structure and foundation when things get tough. You need to strive to find the fun in the everyday stuff.
- TEAMWORK
-
When you move in with someone there is always an expectation of teamwork. But that expectation won’t become reality if you don’t implement it as a unit. Making sure there is a clear understanding that living together can be hard and it is so important to work together not against each other. You don’t live separately and just visit each other anymore. You aren’t coming to their parents’ house or to your house and everything already has an order. You have to make your own order, your own rules, and your own compromises with each other. Teamwork literally does make the dream work. Chores are something you both have to do; making sure you each pull your weigh and help the other is so important. Making decisions together is a great way to build a stronger connection with each other. Teamwork is a key component in making a new and (sometimes) difficult situation work well. You love your other half, right? You wouldn’t want everything to go to hell over not working with each other.
- COMPASSION
-
Compassion might be a no-brainer. You might be thinking “Maddie obviously you need to care and have compassion for your partner duh.” However, it goes so much deeper than caring. You need to have compassion for what your partner likes to do with their free time as they need to do with you. Also, being compassionate of feelings and how situations make the other feel — EVEN IF IT IS NOT ALWAYS HAPPY!
Living together is a huge step and taking it means that you are committing to a life shared with your S/O every day. That means school, work, family, cooking, cleaning, customs, religions, ideals, and so much more. Without compassion it will fail – plain and simple. There needs to be room for each of you to “do your thing” and that no one is getting a guilt trip for something stupid. Compassion for one another is a beautiful way to also show your boyfriend/girlfriend you care and really know them.
- BOUNDARIES
-
This is a HUGE one. Boundaries are the cement that holds the house together. When you live with someone, when you are cooking together, working together, juggling life together, and sleeping together every single day it gets to be a lot. Think about living with your parents or siblings or family in general. You do things without them right? You go to your room, you go out with friends, you do things that give you time with yourself doing something you want to do without those you live with. Just because you are dating and living together does not mean you aren’t individuals. Setting boundaries and RESPECTING those boundaries set is beyond important. If those are not set in place or if they are ignored there will be issues; it will cause serious problems within your relationship. Each one of us has to be our own person and have our own happiness to be able to have a relationship with another person, let alone live together. When boundaries are put in place it gives each person their space and then when you come back together it is better, it is easier, and you can have more fun!
Living with someone you love and making the commitment to have a home with them is an amazing thing. I love it. It has been one of the best decisions of my life and has been working out super well for me. Andrew and I utilize these 5 key things to make sure each of us is happy, safe, loved, and cared for within our relationship and our apartment.
Living with another person is a big step and it can be really scary and challenging at times. My best advice aside from using these tips is to make sure you have long conversations before doing it, that you are really ready for it, and that you are on the same page. It is not like getting shoes you don’t like and returning them to the store or ordering a weird dish at a restaurant. Having an apartment, house, etc. is something to think through and be confident in. But, if and when you do decide you’re ready it is an amazing experience & I wouldn’t trade it for the world!!!
Thanks for reading y’all, hope you enjoyed :)
Until Next Time,
HCXO, Maddie Rose
Stay Safe, Stay Healthy, & Love Each Other <3