Let the Past Refine You, Not Define You

Everyone has wounds on their heart from things they have been through. They hurt and can be reopened in certain situations and triggers. No one likes to talk about them because they are deeply personal and a part of the past, but the ironic part is, they tend to cloud the present. I want to let you know that you are not alone in whatever battle you are facing in this season of your life. College is a time in everyone’s life that is unique to any other experience. You are trying to figure out who you are, what relationships you want to put time into, what you want your future to look like, and all while trying to balance work, classes, schoolwork, and activities. I often find my own mind drifting to memories of my past that have affected my life in deep ways. They shaped me into the person I am today.


I want to let you know that you do not need to let events in your past or upbringing define who you are today in this moment right now. Take a deep breath and feel the rush of the present fill your lungs and breathe out the negativity you have been holding onto. You are here for a purpose and your life is so meaningful to yourself and the people who love you in your life. It doesn’t matter if you were raised in a home of abuse, without a parent(s), went through the adoption and foster system, struggled with poverty, grew up in a place you didn’t always feel safe, grieved the death of a loved one(s), had parents divorce at a young age, etc. Yes, these events impacted the amazing person you are today, but do not let them define who you are. Take these events and let them serve as your own story to touch the people in your life. Use them to help others who have gone through similar situations. But most importantly, choose the path for your own life and don’t dwell on the past. Don’t believe you have to be a statistic on a page or just follow through on a path of self-pity and sadness in this life. You have the choice to turn your life into whatever you want. You have the capacity to do that! 


And if you are struggling through this season in your life with mental health struggles, health problems, family or friend issues, unhealthy relationships, stress, or anything at all, seek help and support from the loved ones in your life. That’s what they are there for! I always find myself thinking I will be a burden on them or they won’t understand what I’m going through. The truth is, everyone has something they struggle with, even if they don’t talk about it openly. A friend, trusted mentor, guidance counselor, family member, or therapist will understand if you openly ask them to support and listen to you. They will try to understand the best they can because they care for you. Just getting something off your chest that you have been holding in for a long time can feel so relieving and like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. This can put you on the right path to carving the map of your life and where you want to be.


Choose to invest time into the people you love the most and who are true friends to you. I have learned this first handedly in my first semester of college this year. Cut off toxic relationships that cause stress and negativity in your life, even if they are in your past. Forgive people for how they have hurt you and let the peace of this wash over you. Leave it in the past and look towards the future. I have witnessed countless stories of people who have hit rock bottom in their past and built their lives up from there to a place where they have found worthiness and happiness today. If you feel you are at rock bottom right now, you are not alone in this feeling. Reach out to those around you and know you can move forward from it and find happiness within yourself and your life. 



You are so worthy of a life of happiness!





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