I saw a quote on Facebook the other day and it said “It’s okay to do less when you’re coping with more.” On this particular day (a Monday at the beginning of the semester), it was exactly what I needed to hear.
I have therapy on Monday afternoons, and therapy is exhausting. I’ve seen multiple therapists and have done different types of therapy ranging from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR). And through all of this, especially after EMDR, I have learned that I need downtime afterwards.
EMDR was developed by Francine Shapiro to treat Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) (Manzoni et al., 2021; Yunitri et al., 2020). It follows the Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) model, which states that unprocessed psychologically stored trauma memories are the root cause of mental health disorders (Yunitri et al., 2020). To sum it all up, while focusing on a negative memory, you are moving your eyes back and forth, which acts as a distraction in order to remove anxious feelings associated with the memory. As the treatment continues, you begin to have a more positive view of the memory and process it as nonthreatening (Yunitri et al., 2020). EMDR is considered successfully completed when you can bring up the event/memory and not experience any physical body tensions or sensations (Qorbanpoor et al., 2020). And one of my favorite things about EMDR is that you don’t have to go into great detail about the disturbing event or image with the therapist and you don’t have to intentionally implement prescribed mental exercises out of session (Manzoni et al., 2021). (You can read more about EMDR at https://www.emdria.org)
Living with PTSD is a mental battle that I fight 24/7, which is exhausting and sometimes debilitating. EMDR is hard work, but so is healing, and I know I need to give myself time to rest after a difficult therapy session. So, I give myself “recovery time.”
What is “recovery time?” For me, it involves laying in bed with a mountain of blankets covering me and the fan set on high. I have snacks sitting right outside of my blanket cocoon on my bed so I can easily access them without too much movement. I usually go on TikTok for a few minutes but then I put my phone away and just lay there. The cool air blowing on my face and the weight of the blankets helps my body relax. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I fall asleep. Overall, I just let myself decompress for an hour or so.
Some days my recovery time is interrupted with anxious thoughts of what I need to get done later on. Because of the start of the semester, it’s been especially difficult to have my recovery time after therapy. My brain floods with the assignments that are due or projects I should be working on and I can no longer rest.
But after reading this Facebook quote, I am reminded that it’s okay to take my recovery time, even if that means doing less homework that day. I’m not wasting my time by resting. I may be doing less schoolwork, but what I am doing is important and I deserve it.
And you deserve it, too. No matter what is going on in your life you deserve time to rest. Schedule your rest time and prioritize it. We are worth it. And remember, it’s okay to do less when you’re coping with more.
References: Manzoni, M., Fernandez, I., Bertella, S., Tizzoni, F., Gazzola, E., Molteni, M., & Nobile, M. (2021). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing: The state of the art of efficacy in children and adolescent with post traumatic stress disorder. Journal of Affective Disorders, 282, 340–347. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2020.12.088 Qorbanpoor lafmejani, A., samady biniaz, D., Rezaei, S. (2020). The Effectiveness of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) on Fear of Negative Evaluation (FNE) and Social Adjustment in Female Students with Social Phobia. International Journal of Psychology (IPA), 14(1), 192-226. doi: 10.22034/ijpb.2020.170331.1086 Yunitri, N., Kao, C.-C., Chu, H., Voss, J., Chiu, H.-L., Liu, D., Shen, S.-T. H., Chang, P.-C., Kang, X. L., & Chou, K.-R. (2020). The effectiveness of eye movement desensitization and reprocessing toward anxiety disorder: A meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Journal of Psychiatric Research, 123, 102–113. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychires.2020.01.005