We’ve all wondered, “what are they really thinking?” Now, four of Oxford’s most eligible bachelors answer all of our most dire questions.
Crop tops and high-waisted shorts:
The boys said: “Never together! Those shorts only work for about 3% of girls, but most of the time they just make you look like a mom. I’ve seen more butt cheeks since this whole ‘high-waisted shorts’ thing started and honestly most of the time it just looks like a mom butt, which is not attractive.”
Synopsis: Overrated. Maybe we should rethink this “hot” trend.
Leggings as pants:
The boys said: “YOGA U! We love the fall at Miami, not because of the leaves, but because it’s finally yoga season. Yoga pants are the best- they just lift and sculpt everything, but only about 1/3 of girls can actually wear these well. A higher percentage than high-waisted shorts, but still not the majority of the population should opt to wear these as pants on a daily basis.”
Synopsis: If you got it, flaunt it!
Girls in the weight room:
The boys said: “Who needs pre-workout when you have girls to motivate you? I can easily curl 10 pounds more when I see Lululemon. But don’t be too skimpy, guys are all about the chase so keep us curious. Also, don’t be afraid to rock the scrubs.”
“The other day I was at the gym and saw a girl who was really trying to sweat it out- I thought it was kind of hot cause I appreciated that she was working hard. We understand that you’re at the gym to workout, not to be facey and look good. If I see a girl who can rock the grunge I know she’s marriage material.”
Synopsis: Don’t be afraid to work hard at the gym, even if you are sweating profusely.
Makeup to the gym:
The boys said: “I like to see a girl who looks good naturally. Besides, doesn’t that break the rules of makeup to put it on and then get all sweaty? You might look like your dyin’ but at least you’re tryin’.”
Synopsis: Don’t waste the time putting makeup on before the gym.
Who should make the first move? Guys or girls?
The boys said: “It should be half and half; as long as you’re not being ‘stalky’ it doesn’t matter who texts first.”
Synopsis: Don’t worry so much about who makes the first initiative, but rather what you say and how often.
Where do you look for girls who are GF material?
The boys said: “Kroger–its all about what a girl has in her cart.”
“MIA is the only bar I would actually look for a girl beyond a hookup. Mutual friends are the best way to meet a girl who is girlfriend material.”
Synopsis: If it involves food; they are paying attention.
Where do you look for girls who are hookup material?
The boys said: “Bagel and Deli, bars, and anywhere else you can use a good pick-up line. Did you know the average polar bear weighs 16-24oz?”
Synopsis: Bagel and Deli? Really?
Guys in Insomnia:
The boys said: “The only time it is acceptable to go into Insomnia is if you are with the boys or trying to wheel chicks with cookies. The real debate is between Orange Leaf and Insomnia–it’s more acceptable to go into Insomnia, but Orange Leaf is better. If you really want the cookies just order them to your house to avoid the humiliation.”
Synopsis: Guys-order your cookies, but do it discretely.
That’s it for this week, girls. Stay tuned for more from The Ugly Truth: Miami Edition!