Elizabeth :)
Everyone’s journey to self-love is very different. For me, I learned a lot about myself during COVID. I had been struggling with my mental health before the lockdown, and when classes were switched to online and no one really left their home, that’s when I decided I needed to focus on myself.
In high school, I struggled with being insecure about my body and my personality as well. I was introverted and kept more to myself, so being isolated during COVID only increased these feelings. I realized that my body dysmorphia and insecurities were going to hold me back.
I tried many different strategies to build my love for myself and one that I noticed the greatest change from was saying affirmations while looking at myself in the mirror. These affirmations can be specific, such as “I love the freckles on my body” or as simple as ”I love myself”. Saying these affirmations to myself often made me start to believe them the more I said them! I also believe the more specific the affirmations are to you, the more likely you are to believe them. For instance, I would often ask myself what I love about myself that day, and I would turn that into my affirmation.
Affirmations are not the only strategy that helped me learn to love myself, but they did begin my journey to the self-love I have today. Every day, I continue to grow my love for myself, and the more it grows, the happier and more confident I feel. My self-love has helped me break out of my shell and explore things outside my comfort zone, such as publishing my own writing!
There are many outside factors that we have little control over that impact our self-image and self-love. These include the media and societal expectations, and my recommendation here is to truly be your kindest self, which means treating yourself and others with respect.
Personally, I have focused on building myself and others up and speaking out against stereotypes that are damaging to people’s sense of self. If we focus on the positive, we can slowly push the negative thoughts and beliefs away from us.
My request to you is to go out today and compliment one person. You never know how much 5 seconds of interaction with a person can completely change how their day is going. It doesn’t hurt to be kind to others and also remember to be kind to yourself!
Frankie
Happy Love Your Body Week! Growing up in the appearance-based sport that is figure skating, finding a way to love my body has not always been easy. I was one of the “bigger” girls at my rink and, not that it prohibited me from doing anything because when I was younger I had a healthy relationship with food, but there were comments that circulated about my appearance. I was 9 years old. I didn’t find out about the comments until a few years ago. They were coming from my coach, the person I was trusted with for multiple hours a week. My mom was the primary recipient of the comments because she couldn’t bear the agony that it would cause such a small child. I honestly am grateful that these comments were hidden from me because I think if I heard them at a young age the view of myself would have exponentially declined, which would only be the beginning of some terrible things.
A few years later, I switched rinks and the view of being skinny in order to be good at the sport truly crossed my mind for the first time; at this rate I think I was 13. When you are in a sport that is so appearance-based it can truly have a choke hold on you and can mutilate your view of yourself which can lead to long term issues. For example, when I am out and about and a girlie compliments my outfit, sometimes it’s hard to believe that I do look good because I don’t look like the girl that complimented me because she is smaller and is the marketed beauty standard. Looking back at old pictures to truly captivate the essence of writing this article to the fullest potential, there was honestly nothing wrong with the way I looked. I honestly believe I wouldn’t have gotten as far as I have in this sport if I was 20 pounds lighter. I have competed at a surplus of competitions in the area and traveled to lands near and far and even continued the sport and college and I think that I have done so well for myself.
I think being given all these ideas of what beauty is at such a young age is so beyond harmful, especially in sports. I don’t know if you have realized but we are in the 21st century, that is a very far time from women tightening corsets to the point of breaking ribs and not being able to breathe. Now when I look at myself in the mirror, yes I have good days where I’m like slay, you ate queen, then there are also bad days where I want to take a marker and color over the imperfections but honestly those imperfections aren’t imperfections at all its called being human. In many sports, some physiques are better than others however we as a society should not be shaming those bodies that look different than the standard that was set by old white men in the 1900’s. Lately, I have loved watching Ilona Mahar on her Dancing with the Stars journey and pushing for the change of the BMI scale and pushing for body positivity. On those days that you don’t feel so hot, go and move your body, because it is a beautiful thing to be able to move. If you ever forget:
-YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL
-YOU ARE WORTHY
-YOU ARE ENOUGH
-YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS
As Love Your Body Week winds down, we hope that you think about ways you can explore your own self-love. Remember to always put yourself first, because you are enough!
Frankie & Elizabeth