The holiday season is all about spending time with family and close friends, especially for many college students. From growing up in your parents house your whole life, to living on campus making new best friends, makes you miss the little moments spent with your family. For me, my holidays have changed dramatically ever since my Dziadek, (grandfather in Polish) passed away. Dziadek was the glue to my family, inviting us all to his house, feeding us until we were full, yet still coming back with more desserts, all while making sure everyone always was having a good time. After losing my Dziadek, the holiday season became a lot harder for me and my family.
We lost touch with some members of our family, which made the holiday’s a lot smaller. I wanted to share what I have done in the past years to make the season of laughter, joy, love, and family a little bit bearable.Â
- Focusing on what I have
Everyone’s families have drama, some may even lose sense of what it means to be a family. I’ve found more meaning in family including my friends who have become my family! I’ve started to focus my time on those who show that they care. Although I am not the best at gift-giving, spending quality time with the people I love is my way of showing I appreciate and care for them deeply. From taking my Nana and Grandpa to breakfast, to crafting an original gift for a friend who just came back from studying abroad in Italy, there are ways to focus on the family that I have. Christmas parties may not be a huge celebration for my whole family anymore, but I still make the effort to be with the family I have during the holiday season.
- Be the initiator
This is a little bit of a continuation from my last point, in the sense that you may lose touch with some family member, but always be open to being family again. I have reached out and stayed open to family that I have not seen regularly. Making new traditions is something that I have been working on. Especially from the older generation who aren’t tech-savvy, I’ve found that being the one who reaches out makes an impact for the better. In the words of my Babci, (grandmother in Polish) she always thanks me for remembering that she exists. Little texts, acts of kindness, and time spent are something our true family members really appreciate.Â
- Be open to new traditions
Something that I find a little harder is being open to new traditions. I haven’t always been good at accepting that there are changes, but I always end up being able to get through it. Holiday traditions have changed quite a bit from being a little kid with a big family to a college student with responsibilities at hand. So no, I can’t wake up the whole family at 5:00 o’clock in the morning to open gifts from Santa. But, I CAN wake them up at 7:00, make their coffee and breakfast, and sit patiently with my dog to watch them open presents. Being open to spending Christmas time differently, by being with other family members, and changing up where we spend the day each year to see what works the best is the only way to overcome this change.Â
Believing that we are all in this together, whether we know it or not, is something I remind myself each holiday season. I know my Dziadek is watching down on me with pride in my strive to keep the family together and build one just as he did.