Everybody goes through it. Whether that be stress from assignments, loss of motivation and direction, or a feeling of loneliness — life gets tough sometimes. The problem may be a product of your environment that you can’t control, like midterms, but sometimes it’s a more existential dread. However, there are some things that make dealing with struggles a bit easier.
Disclaimer: I’m not a mental health professional. These tips aren’t intended to substitute for professional support, but they have helped me and I hope you find them helpful as well.
- Get a journal
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I really can’t stress how helpful writing down your thoughts is. When you get stuck in your head or get caught up in worry cycles, writing forces you to sort through your thoughts a bit. Afterwards, you don’t have to hold it in your brain and can let go of some stress. The advantage is that you can always look back if needed and it can also give you some insight into what’s going on in your head.
- Have a confidant
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Problems are always easier to deal with when you have support. Confiding in someone you trust about your struggles and having them listen, understand, or just be there for you is immensely effective in reducing stress and improving mental well-being. Not everyone has someone they can trust or open up to easily. If this is the case, see if you can access therapy or a counsellor, either in your area, like at your school’s wellness centre, or online. There are also online communities, support groups, and anonymous forums and chats open to anyone who wishes to join. Finally, multiple peer-support and crisis helplines are available to callers in both the USA and Canada. If you don’t want to talk to anyone, expressing yourself through writing, art, or music can also be cathartic.
- Acceptance is key
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Insecurities, flaws and the so called “uglier” parts of yourself can’t be buried or severed off. Even if it feels painful and excruciatingly vulnerable at times, unconditionally accepting all parts of yourself (and what that might entail), is the key to moving forward and building self-esteem. Our knee-jerk reaction is to deny and shy away from confronting our shortcomings. Be aware that your brain might perform some mental gymnastics to avoid acknowledging the hard stuff. It’s a long and hard road to self-possession.
- THe ‘Should’ Scam
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This is similar to the previous tip, where unconditional acceptance is key! A lot of the time, we fall into the trap of believing we have to be or act a certain way in order to be a good person, be liked, or to be accepted in a group.
“I should be a doctor to make my family happy; I should be more bubbly and outgoing to be liked; I have to stay with my partner; I have to repress my sexuality to be a moral person.”
It’s normal to want to fit in, so it’s hard to move away from what you believe you “should” be and towards a more authentic self when it goes against the expectations of society or a loved one. Being able to stand on your own, even in the face of opposition, is key to avoiding this scam. To do this, work on building up strength and trust in yourself. Although one’s true self may oppose the expectations of many people, there are many others who really respect those who live authentically. In the long run, being honest wastes less time and is more freeing, even if it makes you less digestible.
- Don’t stop believing
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There will always be a time beyond your current circumstances, and there will always be more people to meet. Sometimes, it’s hard to maintain hope when things look bleak, and that’s OK! You can’t force this step, but it helps to recognize that change is constant and that things might change for the better.
That’s all I have for you today! I wish you the best of luck as we all go through life together. I’ll leave you with this Tweet from user @jeanqasaur:
“If you think everyone hates you, you probably need to sleep. If you think you hate everyone, you probably need to eat.”