This article discusses sensitive topics that can be hard to read and may cause a variety of feelings. I’m certainly not an expert in coping with grief, but my hope is that if you’re reading this, you’ll feel seen and loved. Read this article only if you want to and if you believe it’ll help you in some way. Know that wherever you are and no matter your circumstances, you’re not alone.
Processing grief has and always will be a difficult journey that every person experiences differently. No one is immune to this feeling – we all experience grief at some point in our lives and no person can be told how they should heal. Since the onset of COVID-19, each new loss has been especially hard to endure without the physical presence of our loved ones. Whether you’ve lost a loved one, a pet, lost your job, or missed out on a life experience due to COVID-19, it’s important to hold space for these feelings. All of your emotions are valid. Being gentle with ourselves can help us survive the challenging chapters of our lives.
Showing Up for OURSELVES When We Experience Loss:
It’s so important to take care of our bodies and minds during traumatic experiences. It may feel nearly impossible sometimes and may take everything in us to get out of bed and wash our faces, have a shower, or go for a walk outside, but these are the things that’ll carry us through to brighter days. It’s also important to surround ourselves with those that love and support us so that we can feel safe and seen. Accepting help from others can lift us up too. Having someone sit with us in our time of darkness makes it seem not as all-consuming.
Leaning on those that offer themselves to us can bring some much-needed comfort when we need grounding. Acknowledge each new feeling as it comes, give it space to breathe, and don’t feel guilty about it. Society can often stigmatize conversations surrounding grief, which leads us to curb our feelings. It’s only when we respect our full range of emotions that we’re able to respect every part of ourselves, including the raw, vulnerable parts.
Showing Up For OTHERS Who Are Experiencing Loss:
We have the power to comfort others, whether it’s with words of affirmation, gifts, spending quality time with each other, acts of service, or consensual physical touch. But with COVID-19, many of these love languages aren’t possible to give in the traditional sense. We can’t freely hug or spend time with loved ones as we normally would, which can be very isolating. However, there are still many ways that we can show up for those that are experiencing grief.
Whether it’s with a meaningful text or call, we can check in on our loved ones. Simply start a conversation and be open to listen. Showing up virtually, whether it’s sending an educational post about grief, or forwarding an uplifting message, or even sharing cute pictures of animals can help let them know that you’re there for them. If you’re able to, ask them to go for a socially distanced walk, bring them food, write them a letter, or even send them a playlist. It’s the small and thoughtful gestures that make all the difference.
I know it’s become somewhat of a cliche, but “it’s okay to not be okay” is a message that almost everyone needs right now. Life is an endless exchange of ebbs & flows, inhales & exhales, joy & grief. You can’t have one without the other; all of these things dance together. I know this period of your life may seem like a stand-still or a fall, but life will flow again soon. You will know joy again, you will know peace again, and you will rise again.