University is an adjustment for everyone, but being far away from family and friends can make that adjustment even harder. Last year, when I started my first year, I remember being so homesick – it was exhausting. And it didn’t end as the semester went on either; actually, I remember crying in my childhood bedroom during the reading week with my dad because I didn’t want to go back to school at all. It was so othering, and I’m only a two-hour plane ride away from my family. I cannot begin to imagine how it would feel to be an international student. However, after that day in my room, I decided I wanted to stop feeling so bad all the time, instead, enjoy the new experiences and people Hamilton had to offer. It’s easier said than done, and while I don’t think the feeling of missing people you grew up with ever really goes away, I believe there are ways to deal with it so you don’t miss out on all the good things that come with moving.
1. Opening Up to New Friends
Homesickness makes you long for your friendships from home. Even though I was making new friends, I felt like I constantly compared them to my old friends. Spoiler alert: people you just met will not measure up to people you have known for your entire life. They don’t know you very well, but that doesn’t mean they never will. Something that my mother said about this topic really stayed with me. I told her I had some new friends, but it just didn’t feel the same as my friends from home, and they didn’t get me. She then asked me how they were supposed to know me if I didn’t let them. I then realized that if I never opened up about how I felt, I would never be able to build a real connection with them. So, my advice is to overcome the scariness of opening up to new people. There is strength in vulnerability, and in this case, the strength goes right to your new relationship.
2. Trying Something New
People always say college is the perfect place to reinvent yourself, and while it’s true, you don’t necessarily need to change completely. However, I recommend trying a new hobby or joining a club. Being in a new place is the perfect time to do something you’ve been thinking about doing but felt too scared to do or try something you’ve never even considered before. In my experience, it’s easier to get over missing home when you are enjoying something you never did at home. I started going to spin classes, which is just in its nature motivating, but it also felt so nice to step out of my comfort zone and try something new. There are always so many posters around campus and on social media advertising all kinds of things you can try.
3. Reaching Out
This one is super important. So many schools have resources for students with feelings like these. McMaster has a wide variety of clubs for international students who need support or a place to meet people in the same situation. It’s a safe space to learn and find comfort from others who share similar struggles. For me, feeling homesick made everything that was already difficult even worse. Things that were usually manageable, like my schoolwork, were heavily affected. It’s essential to reach out for help with that as well. Professors are more understanding than they often appear to be, and most schools have academic resources. McMaster offers academic peer mentoring, writing support, and so many other free resources to help students out. I encourage everyone to use what is available to them.
4. Making the Most Out of Trips Home
This one is a given, but when you can visit home, make sure you see everyone you want to see and do the things you’ve been missing. When I went home to Nova Scotia, I constantly went to the beach, even though that was something I never did when I lived there. I saw my friends as much as possible, even though I always talked to them on the phone at school. I hung out with my parents much more than I would have if I had been at home all the time. Moving allows you to appreciate and value where you are from much more. I take home less for granted now, knowing how much I miss it when I’m away. Doing the things you have been missing and seeing people who are important to you make it less painful when it’s time to leave again.
Homesickness is a part of growing up, and in my opinion, it’s inevitable. But I want to make it clear and reassure you that it doesn’t have to run your life. Even if you feel like you are alone, you’re not. I know that phrase is constantly repeated, but it’s true. Everyone around you has felt homesickness before, and you won’t be the last one to go through it either. I hope I eased some of it, whatever homesickness you may feel, and reminded you that it doesn’t have to feel so exhausting forever. There are wonderful things no matter where you are!