As we scroll through social media, talk to our classmates and browse online clothing stores, we sometimes cannot help but have a flash of jealousy when we see people who we believe may be prettier, smarter, or skinnier than us—and the list goes on. We become trapped in our thoughts and cannot help but think: Why can’t I be successful like them? Why don’t I have as many executive positions as them? Why can’t my life be like theirs?
Although having some healthy competition can keep you motivated, it becomes detrimental to your mental health once you get caught with your thoughts and spiral down a rabbit hole of comparing yourself to others.
1. You’re not getting the full picture
While it may seem like everyone has their life put together on social media, it may not always be the case. The not-so-picture-perfect parts of their lives are hidden away from highlight reels. For instance, they may post an Instagram story about their productive day, but they might also have had a falling out with their friends the day before or they are dealing with other issues in private. We tend to display our best selves on social media, even though they may not be our true selves. Thus, it is important to remind ourselves that everyone’s life is not perfect and that our feed is an illusion.
2. Everyone has their journey to reach their final destination
While everyone’s path may appear linear on LinkedIn, most people’s paths are non-linear. Some may have taken a gap year in the middle of their studies due to their mental health; some may have had a family member pass away; some maybe have broken up with their significant other. Everyone is in vastly different stages of their lives and each individual that you encounter is on their own path to achieving their personal goals. While it may seem like your peers or friends are “ahead” of you, they too have overcome hidden obstacles to reach the point they are at today.
3. Take a break and validate your feelings
Finally, while it may be difficult to take time off social media because of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), setting your phone aside will help to put a stop to the endless cycle of comparing yourself to others. Accepting the fact that you are comparing yourself to others, especially when you know you should not be, is difficult, but it is important as it allows you to acknowledge why you are feeling this way. You will start to feel better. I deleted Instagram for a bit when I began to feel the negative effects of constantly comparing myself to others, and once I got back on, I caught myself comparing myself to others. But this time, I was able to recognize and counteract these feelings.
While it is not easy to suddenly stop comparing yourself to others and easier said than done, it is crucial to remember that what you see is not the full story and that everyone is going to their destination at their own pace. Turn your jealousy into support, focus on improving yourself, and be proud of how far you have come.