Endlessly creating myself

“I am endlessly creating myself” I reblog onto my Tumblr. It seems to scream “relatable” to me. I handed in my application to graduate this week, and it made me not nostalgic but grateful. Yes, I look back on most of my college memories with the utmost happiness and love, but when it comes to some I’m downtrodden but thankful that they happened and in the way they did for, through my resilience, they have have made me who I am today. 

 

College has taught me a lot, as it should since we are piling a boatload of money into. However, I haven’t only expanded my mind in an academic manner, but in an personal evolutionary manner as well. Since being here, I have learned what I will tolerate and what I won't stand for. Through this, I have learned my worth and won’t let anyone tell me what they think that is. 

 

I lost myself for a boy who wasn’t worth my endless tears and found myself for myself. It was a lengthy, heartbreaking, and earth-shattering experience, but I came out of it stronger and more independent than before. 

 

I found my people. It may have taken a while, as they collected around me over the years (some arriving only last semester), but they have stuck with me and I them through smiles and tears, through homework sessions and singing drunkenly at 2:30 am,  through fights and apologies, and through trust and a oneness of understanding. 

 

I realized it’s okay for me to change my mind. I recently had a change in what I believe my future should hold and with that, I may be graduating with one less degree than originally planned, but I’m excited to see what the writing world has in store for me. 

 

I have a long journey ahead of me full of ups and downs, but I’m not nervously shaking in my boots. I’m excited. I have no idea what is coming, but I’ll survive just as I did in college, just with less binge drinking. I wasn’t who I am four years ago, and I won’t be the same four years from now. That’s the beauty of this world. It throws the impossible at us and we overcome with charisma and the ability to better ourselves from its conquered challenges. 

 

To whoever is reading this, face the oncoming day, year, life with a shoulder forward, ready to tackle what comes next. Keep an open mind about who you are and accept change when it comes. We don’t need, or should want to, stay the same our whole life. People are malleable. We are weathered through the years, but not broken or even cracked. We are stronger. Eventually, I’d like to believe, we reach a new level of humanhood where we are more knowledgeable and understanding— more enlightened. I hope once this happens, we don’t stop growing, only reach new unspeakable heights.