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Don’t let fear of losing interfere with your chance of winning

The leaves are not the only things falling this October, for I am as well.  I’m starting to feel something I never thought I’d feel again. Before I knew it, my mind was captivated by the inner beauty of someone new. After hours of searching for the words to express what it was about her that had caught my attention, I discovered there was only one that would suffice.

It was her.

Everything about her mind, strength, and personality drew me in. Really, I could go on about all of the amazing aspects of who she is and how great she is for hours, however, finding the words to paint the perfect image inside of your head would be close to impossible. For me, all it takes is the sound of her name or the mention of the word “beautiful” for me to get lost in the thought of her.

When I first began to notice she was slowly beginning to captivate my mind, I grew unhinged. I couldn’t place the emotion at first, but I have since labeled it as denial. The leaves were falling, not me. There was no way. 

It wasn’t long before I realized that these feelings couldn’t be submerged. She sparked something inside of me that even denial couldn’t put out. Denying the way I felt wasn’t fair or even possible, for she was simply too incredible and beautiful to ignore. Her admirable strength and complex mind was to die for.

I am no longer afraid to admit to myself, or others, the way I have fallen for her. Adjusting from a breakup can be difficult, but once your heart is finally healed and ready to move on, that’s another story. Torn between excitement and horror, I allowed myself (and my heart) to let go of the past. Everything about finding someone new was horrifying: from regaining trust to allowing someone new to see the darker sides of you. Laughing and smiling with someone new is a scary thought, but an amazing feeling. 

The chance of being let down and hurt again will always be there, but enjoying the moment is much better than worrying about the “what if”. By accepting the way I feel, I have learned to not let the fear of losing interfere with the chance of winning. After all, everything happens for a reason. The struggle you face today could quite possibly be the blessing of tomorrow. 

Meghan is a sophomore who majors in Psychology with a minor in behavior analysis. She is one of the two campus correspondents of the MCLA chapter. Writing has become first nature for her- it's like riding a bike into paradise. She primarily writes about love with the hope to become the female version of Nicholas Sparks someday.
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