When I stepped into the room and met the first sorority on my schedule during recruitment, I knew it was the one. The dazzling sunlight was spilling into the giant, white room, making the bright decorations sparkle. The warm smiles on all the girls’ faces welcomed me as I took my first step into an experience I was not expecting.
I didn’t stay in residence in my first year, and from day one, I knew I was missing out on a big chunk of the freshman experience. People had made friends even before Frosh- but Frosh was the first time I was meeting other first years. So when I was rushing, I felt exactly that- a rush of pure excitement as I was suddenly meeting tons of new girls every day. And when I got into the sorority that I wanted, I felt like I had finally found my place at McGill.
From the beginning, I was accepted into the sorority truly as a “sister”, and it gave me a sense of exclusivity that I had never really experienced before. When I was trying to place myself at such a big university, the sorority allowed me to establish my identity here. Soon enough, when I introduced myself to new people, I had a script of three things that I would always repeat: My name was Sooji, it was my first year at McGill, and I was in a sorority.
I dropped out of the sorority about a year after I joined.
It took me about 4 months of going back and forth to finally make the decision. I was so scared of losing that identity I was clinging onto. I didn’t want to go back to “My name is Sooji, and I’m in my first year.” The third part of the script was what made me memorable and unique. If I dropped out, I wouldn’t a part of this exclusive group, and I was scared that I wouldn’t have anyone to study with, eat with, and go out with.
A lot of people asked me why I made such a decision. People seemed curious, but it seemed almost as if they were expecting me to validate all the negative stereotypes that sororities had, with questions such as, “what was it REALLY like? What did you hate about it that made you drop?” People assumed I had dropped out because I wanted to get out of this toxic environment. To them, sororities were all shallow, fake, party-obsessed, catty, drama-filled, etc. You name it, I heard it all.
At first, these judgments and questions did make me think for a second that I dropped because I was over the drama, and that I didn’t like the cattiness or the party lifestyle. But I realized that, when I was thinking that way, I was putting myself on this pedestal above the sorority, and I was minimizing all of the special memories and the ups and downs, all into just those stereotypes. Sure, in my sorority, and every other sorority on campus have had its fair share of drama, pettiness, and gossip. But what do you expect when you put a group of 70 or 80 people together to hang out with all the time?
Having an older sister of my own, I know what it’s like when you fight with them. When you fight, it can get pretty intense, and we sometimes fight about the pettiest things. But as soon as someone else starts bashing on your sister, you instantly come to her defense. Because regardless of your differences, you both identify yourselves as sisters- and that means, that that comes before anything else. In my sorority, there were ups and downs, arguments and drama. But in the end, we all belonged in this sisterhood that we were all proud to be in.
Finally, then, the question still remains: why did I drop in the first place?
I dropped simply because it just wasn’t the right fit for me. The closest thing I can describe it to is friends naturally growing apart as they go through changes. As I started to learn more about myself, I realized that I felt most comfortable and like myself in smaller groups. There were constantly new and exciting events and plans coming up in the sorority. It was a lot, and it was intense. It got to a point where I simply felt like I couldn’t keep up with it all as I started to explore other parts of McGill, and met new people. And that really was it. I just found my identity somewhere else, and my script went from only having three things to talk about, to expanding to many more as I grew more confident in myself and learned that I had other interests and something unique of my own to offer.
Some girls who have dropped might say they did so because they felt like the negative stereotypes were true. But what I can say from my own experience is that the sorority gave me so many valuable memories and experiences that I will forever look back on fondly when I think about my first year. I met some incredible people. Sororities, or Greek life in general I would say, is not an experience you can get anywhere else- and when they talk about sisterhood, they truly mean it. Because when I was in it, I truly did feel like one.
Images Obtained From: