It looks like the signs can no longer be ignored. The twinkling, tinsel-twined decorations have appeared in every storefront window, seemingly overnight. The radio has succumbed to Jingle Bell Rockin’ and songs about reindeers with frostbite (red is not the natural shade of a reindeer’s nose, as I’m sure we can all agree). The first snow has blanketed the city like something out of a Nat King Cole song and Starbucks has rolled out all its special holiday flavors. We all know that the Gingerbread Latte can only mean one thing: the holidays are here, and amidst this cheery season that seems to be nothing but peace on earth, good will to men, and seasonally-flavored coffee drinks, there is one small dark kernel of self-doubt and panic that affects us all. How will we find the perfect gifts for all the wonderful people in our lives? Or more importantly, how can we make sure that we are better gift-givers than they are, and assert ourselves as the superior gift-giving beings amongst the common mortals?
Fear not! A handy-dandy gift guide is the perfect tool to ensuring your spot as rightful Champion of Holiday Thoughtfulness, especially one that is so conveniently organized by the kind of personalities you might find yourself shopping for. Whether it be your lifelong best friend or someone you only know by the facts off their Facebook profile, here are some guidelines that are sure to bring you success this holiday season.
1. The Hipster:
If you think it’s hard to shop for normal people, the pressure practically doubles for the Hipster. You never know if a corny gift will come off as perfectly ironic or… just plain lame. That TV show they’re always talking about, do they love it or hate it? You honestly can’t tell from all the deadpan snark in their live-tweeting. There are a couple safe options you can turn to, such as the staple of every hipster home: ironic home décor. A throw pillow depicting a pug dressed like Karl Lagerfeld or a Mr. Tea Rex mug are pretty much guaranteed hits.
But if you want to take a risk, go as far out there as possible- like a Titanic-shaped ice cube tray! It’s weird and pointless. They’ll love it!
2. The Roommate:
Face it, they deserve something special for putting up with you during caffeine-fueled midterm freak outs, 2 a.m. bouts of drunken affection, and the numerous times you forgot to empty the dishwasher. There’s also a secret bonus to shopping for a roommate: you might as well make that gift shareable. So instead of taking the easy route with another scented candle or a gift card, step up your game with something that they (and yeah, you) will love to have around the house. For example, consider how cute a set of Chalkboard Label Mason Jars would be for your next party. Or how hilarious a set of Douchebag Doily Coasters would be to go with them?
But if you want to prove your selflessness and get your roomie something entirely their own, there’s the Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream Lock. It doubles as an apology for that time you finished off their Half Baked pint and a promise that you’ll never commit such a crime again.
3. The Sophisticate:
They’re chic, they’re smart, they watch foreign movies with subtitles and read important autobiographies and enjoy conversations that show off how cultured they are. You can’t begrudge them for embodying the adult person you’re pretty sure you’re supposed to be at this stage in your life, right? Getting a gift to satisfy their refined tastes may seem like a daunting task, so don’t try too hard to rise to their level. Opt for something simple that oozes with style, like, say, an avant-garde wall clock. Nothing says “high brow” quite like a clock with no numbers. You can also option for a Scratch-Off World Map so that they can proudly display all the jet-setting they’ve done.
If the above ideas fall flat, the least you can do is help them keep up appearances with the essential object of any sophisticated household: a pretentious coffee table book. Something like Andy Warhol’s Museum Collection will be a perfect addition to what’s no doubt an already impressive collection.
4. The Party Animal:
We all have at least one friend who fits this label, for their drinking habits alone- and it’s nicer than calling them an “alcoholic.” Your first instinct may be to get them a shot glass since you know that’s something they’ll appreciate and find plenty of use for. But the truth is, they get a shot glass for every birthday, Christmas, and each night of Hanukkah. They probably have an entire cabinet full of shot glasses. Unless you’re a serious shot glass enthusiast, let’s face it, you really only need one. So the key to the perfect gift is to think outside the box. How about the Spin-The-Shot drinking game? Or give them the chance to unleash their creativity with a Construct-Your-Own-Crazy-Straw kit– that’s sure to make a splash at any holiday party! That pun is certainly intended, because it’s highly unlikely that those straws are airtight.
If you don’t want to buy them a novelty gift more suited for a bachelorette party, there’s a classier route you can take: try something like this wall art featuring an alcohol pun.
5. The Guy You Just Started Dating:
Finding a present for this guy is no walk in the park. It’s more like a walk through a minefield, actually. You have no idea what kind of gift he’s going to reciprocate with, especially since it’s only been two weeks since you started – dating? Getting coffee together? Awkwardly flirting over text messages? You’re frantically browsing one online catalogue after another in fear of giving the inferior gift, and go too big, and you might end up giving him the equivalent of a Love Fern (which is a good idea if you’re trying to lose a guy in ten days, but a bad idea otherwise). Leave the tie for your dad and the Chocolate Football Strawberries for… yourself, honestly, and go with something much more simplistic: Homemade Cookies.
It may seem like an underwhelming gift, but it actually works on so many levels. Something homemade conveys more care and consideration than something you picked up at the store, and gives you a chance to show off your prodigious baking skills, if you happen to have some. Plus, everyone knows that the way to a guy’s heart is really through his stomach. Check out All Recipe’s easy Christmas cookie recipes and don your apron, Master Chef!
But if you’re really no Betty Crocker, and those cookies inevitably end up as charcoal, it’s good to have a back-up. Your next best option is probably getting him something unusual, but useful. For example, this Wall-Mounted Bottle Opener not only doubles as attractive kitchen décor, but will definitely get a lot of traction the next time he’s hosting a party with his bros.
6. The Person Who Says They Don’t Want A Gift:
It’s the same ordeal every year. When you try to cajole these people into giving you some ideas for their holiday gift, their only reply is that they “really don’t want anything.” Yeah, as if. They may be shining examples of selflessness, but you can’t let these Good Samaritans ruin your impeccable gift-giving track record. Even if it’s something small, you will find something perfect for them, and they will love it. That’ll show ’em!
Simple stocking stuffers are a good way to go: fuzzy socks, maybe accessories like a pair of earrings or a nice winter scarf, or something silly like a Color Me Swoon coloring book. But if you really want to make a statement, you can make sure everything is themed with the holiday of their preference. Make sure those socks are exclusively Christmas-colored. Or get them the 12 Drinking Games of Hannukah card game. How about an Elfie Selfie disposable camera? All this holiday spirit will remind them to stop being such a grouch about getting presents, and just embrace the joyous materialism like the rest of us!
If none of the ideas in this list are what you’re looking for, don’t worry, there’s still hope. You can browse recommended sites like Uncommon Goods, Wayfair and KnockKnockStuff for more uniquely great gift ideas of all shapes and sizes!
Images Obtained From:
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