Although I am still reeling from the insanity of the Oscars last weekend, I have somehow managed a partial semblance of a state of calm. Well, at least calm enough to sit down and crank out a ludicrous article about TV.
I am perfectly cognizant of the fact that we are living in “peak TV,” but I have reached my peak TV. By this I mean, I literally have nothing remotely intelligent to say about anything.
It’s probably not great to start an article by saying you’ve nothing important to say, but although we may have never met, dearest reader, I feel like we have an intimate enough relationship to share my troubles. I mean, I’ve seen Michael Fassbender’s genitals in Steve McQueen’s Shame and I certainly don’t know him IRL. (Great film beyond the nudity, by the way.)
Getting away from my brief digressing about some handsome 40-something actor, a hobby which I seem to fancy quite a bit… I could sit here and tell you about how much I am adoring Big Little Lies, and oh boy, am I, but it would be an exceedingly pithy article consisting of only the words “Laura” and “Dern” and “slaying me.”
So, to give you something to read of some heft, I am going to talk about things I haven’t even seen yet, but am just inordinately excited for. This makes practically zero sense, but whatever. The commercials for upcoming TV shows are one of the few joys in life that get me out of bed in the morning. Let me be.
- Feud: Bette and Joan; March 5, FX
Much like the first time I discussed my beloved Big Little Lies, by the time you are reading this (which, kudos for slogging through my fatuity above and making it this far. You deserve an award or something; maybe the Oscar that should have gone to Isabelle Huppert instead of Emma Stone. #ForeverBitter), I will have already seen the first episode of this. And hopefully, future-me loved it.
If you have been living under a rock, or have a life beyond following every project Ryan Murphy takes on (I certainly don’t), this show is the latest in a long-line of Mr. Murphy’s passion projects. The description and premise of the show is the most Ryan Murphy-est thing to ever exist:
“It was a feud like no other—the glamorous, strategically saccharine Joan Crawford vs. the sharp-tongued, critically hailed Bette Davis. They were screen icons of equal magnitude and acclaim whose decades-long beef reached its climax on the set of the melodramatic horror movie Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” (Vanity Fair)
So, Ryan took this famous feud and his obsession with anthologies and turned it into a new series. The next season is already slated to be about Prince Charles and Diana. (Hm. I don’t know how I feel about this one, but, a discussion for another time.)
Ryan has a personal connection to this particular story, having written letters to Ms. Bette Davis as a child, culminating in their eventual meeting. He idolized her almost as much as he currently idolizes Sarah Paulson (don’t we all, though?).
Besides using the series to honour the late actress, he is also using it as another marvelous opportunity to haul out his calvacade of glamorous aging actresses who don’t see as much work thrown their way as they should. I mock Ryan for most of what he does, because the work he does just calls for it, frankly. However, his commitment to giving actresses like Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates, Angela Bassett, Frances Conroy, etc. such meaty and delicious roles is the best thing about him. Unfortunately, older actresses are some of the most overlooked by Hollywood (see: only 7 actresses over 60 have won Best Actress. Ever. #JusticeForIsabelleHuppert). Ryan Murphy has given them material and a creative space to really thrive and I applaud him for that.
Okay, back to Feud. The trailers make this show look freaking perfect. The costuming, art direction, and all the expert shade throwing by Jessica Lange (Joan Crawford) and Susan Sarandon (Bette Davis). Everything.
The supporting cast for this show is also something. Catherine Zeta Jones, Kathy Bates, Sarah Paulson (of course), and Kiernan Shipka, whom you might remember as Sally Draper, Jon Hamm’s daughter on Mad Men (Obligatory Jon Hamm reference. © 2017 Gabrielle Lee Gabauer). Also, Stanley Tucci is coming back into my life! If only for that I am thrilled. Don’t ruin this for me, Ryan.
- The Americans, Season 5; March 7, FX
There are few things in life that bring me as much pure, untarnished elation as Matthew Rhys. He is the Welsh embodiment of perfection. Thankfully during the break between seasons of The Americans, I got to delight in the merriment of him and Matthew Goode (also a gem) trekking around Italy being foolish and drinking wine on ITV’s The Wine Show.
However, he is soon going to be back in my life as Philip Jennings, a Soviet KGB operative pretending to be a regular American husband and dad during the Cold War. He and his wife Elizabeth, played by his real-life partner Keri Russell, trek around killing people and wear amazing wigs. It is a wonderful show, but also kind of scary to watch right now considering the goings-on of the US government! #PoliticalGabby
Do not let that dissuade you if you have yet to dive into this really masterfully executed, and somewhat underappreciated, treasure of a show. I insist, yes, insist, that you watch it. You have 3 days to catch up on 4 seasons of 13-episodes. I am certain you are more than capable.
- The Leftovers, Final Season; April 16, HBO
If there was an award for “Show I Scream ‘Why Aren’t More People Watching This?!’ The Most About,” HBO’s The Leftovers would win that award.
From Damon Lindelof (Lost) and Tom Perrotta (author of the novel the show was based on) comes the hilarious and not at all soul-crushing and depressing story of what would happen if 2% of the world’s population just disappeared into thin air.
The first season of this show is the epitome of despair porn. It is some dark stuff. But it’s really great, too! I promise. It is a stunning look at grief, faith and religion, and grappling with the emotions that accompany loss. It is working on levels, let me tell you.
What has impressed me most about this show from the very beginning, besides its commitment to unapologetic and relentless misery, is its ability to transform itself and subvert expectations. The first season is fairly step-for-step with the novel, following the Garvey family of Mapleton, New York and the Guilty Remnant cult that has arisen as a result of the “Sudden Departure.”
However, the second season ships the Garvey’s to Jarden, Texas and the show turned on its head and became something totally new. The ninth episode of the season (“International Assassin”) is what I consider to be one of the best episodes of television ever created. This is coming from me; the girl who has practically made it her lifetime commitment to watch any and everything that is prestige-y.
This show also makes me stand on the soapbox for Justin Theroux’s acting ability, insofar as I laud him as one of our most underappreciated actors. I know he played the DJ in Zoolander and kind of exudes a sort of sliminess at all times; but he’s actually sickeningly talented and has the most massive back tattoo I have ever seen. The talent and tattoo aren’t related to one another. I just wanted to bring it up. Anyways, he has this uncanny ability to just exist in a scene and never seem like he’s trying too hard. Leonardo DiCaprio should take notes.
Back to the actual show, I genuinely find it to be brilliant, and while I am sad its third season is its last, I think it is for the best. The story just does not lend itself to longevity, and there is nothing that titillates me more than a show that knows when to get up and walk away. However, the new season looks really fantastic, and I know they went to Australia to film, so who even knows where it will end up. And if you have never watched it, only 2 seasons of 10-episodes each to catch up on in a month and a half. Easily done.
- Fargo, Season 3; April 19, FX
Ewan McGregor. That’s all.
Just kidding.
I am the most long-winded writer ever: Garrison Keillor himself would tell me to “cool it.” I cannot just leave it at two words. Granted, those two words are the name of the most perfect human on earth, but still.
I love this show. The first two seasons of this anthology series (FX is so thirsty for anthology series’, my god) were fabulous. Inspired by the Coen Brothers film of the same name, it is the definition of “cinematic television.” Plus, it has featured some of my most beloved actors; Colin Hanks, Kirsten Dunst, Ted Danson, Martin Freeman, and many more!
When I heard Mr. McGregor would be playing not one, but two characters (brothers, obvs), I reacted the same way I did when Spotlight won Best Picture last year (jumping up and down with happiness, general smiling and cheering, etc., etc.).
The casting people at Fargo just get me on such a visceral level.
Even without knowing too much about the plot at this point, I am über pumped for this because Fargo never disappoints.
- The Handmaid’s Tale, April 26, Hulu
I was seconds from finishing my article before I remembered how jazzed I am about this. We are blessed by the existence of Elisabeth Moss, whose performance on Mad Men is sorely missed and still one of my all-time favourites.
Hulu’s latest original show is an adaption of Margaret Atwood’s best-selling novel about a totalitarian state that was once the United States called Gilead. It uses women as, more or less, baby machines. Their bodies, or more explicitly, their reproductive organs are state property.
Moss stars as Offred, with Samira Wiley as Moira, Alexis “I am more than Rory Gilmore” Bledel as Ofglen, and Joseph Fiennes as the Commander (I’ve always found it fitting Joseph’s last name was pronounced like “fine,” because damn.).
Atwood is serving as an exective producer, so here’s hoping it remains pretty true to the source material, which I loved. I recently read it on a plane, and oh boy, what a fun read as you’re hurling through the sky seated in what is essentially a metal building turned on its side. I find it really fascinating the book, along with other dystopian-style novels such as 1984, are experiencing a renaissance at the top of the best-seller’s list since the US election. Hm. Makes you think. #PoliticalGabby
The trailers for this are incredibly striking, and I have zero doubts in my mind that Moss is going to win an Emmy for this.
- American Gods, April 30, Starz
I know very little about this, which is why I am so intrigued. Inspired by the bestselling novel by Neil Gaiman, it follows… Alright, who am I kidding. This is a bananas plot and I am incapable of describing it.
Here is the premise, per the Wikipedia page: The series focuses on Shadow Moon, a man serving three years in prison. With only days remaining in his sentence, Shadow is given an unexpected early release after his beloved wife Laura is killed. Shadow finds himself next to a man named Wednesday, who offers Shadow a job. Wednesday appears to be nothing but a con artist who needs Shadow as a bodyguard, but is in fact the god Odin. Wednesday is making his way across America, gathering all the old gods, who have now incorporated themselves into American life, to confront the New Gods, including Media and Technology, who grow stronger. (Wikipedia)
Where to begin? There is a lot happening. Reading the cast list for is even more dizzying. Gillian Anderson is playing Media! Kristin Chenoweth is playing Easter! I don’t even know what that entails, but I am living for it.
It also helps that the showrunner for this is the genius that is Bryan Fuller, who created the sumptuous and delectable worlds of Pushing Daisies (Gone too soon. RIP.) and Hannibal (Could also do for some more sexual tension between Mads Mikkelson and Claire Danes’ handsome, if personality-less, husband. RIP. The show. Not Claire Danes’ husband, if that wasn’t clear.).
If all else fails, I can only imagine how stunning this show is going to look. Fuller is the king of art direction and creating a unifying visual language. I am intrigued, and will probably be confused, but that is pretty much my constant state of being.
- Twin Peaks, May 21, Showtime
Normally with TV show revivals I am like, “Ugh. Keep it.”
But this is going to be insane, isn’t it? There is no other way to describe what is going to be 18 hours of new things that tumbled out of David Lynch’s mind. There are over 217 cast members.
217.
Let that number wash over you for a minute. I’ll wait.
Great, you’re back. Hope you had fun mulling with that. Isn’t that just bonkers? Obviously the greatest human person, Kyle MacLachlan, will be reprising his role as Agent Dale Cooper, and many of the old cast is returning, but they added the everybody and their mother to this thing.
I peeped the full cast list and saw the most random people:
- Michael Cera. I suppose he isn’t that random because he pretty much is a David Lynch character in real life.
- Sky Ferreira. I believe this person is a singer? I am not sure. I am about 86 when it comes to knowing the hip young artists.
- Amanda Seyfried. Where has Amanda been? I was getting concerned we’d shipped her off to the Island of Misfit Teen Actresses. Happy for her to be receiving work she won’t be embarassed about in 20 years!
- Trent Reznor. Yes. The Trent Reznor who scored the story of my future life, Gone Girl. (Charming, and slightly troubling, anecdotal interjection: I once casually mentioned to a guy on a first date that I related to Amy Dunne on a spiritual level, and this person still appears to be interested in speaking to me! We have fun here.)
We know nothing about the plot except Cooper is returning to Twin Peaks after nearly 25 years. Thankfully, MacLachlan has aged like fine wine and still looks the part.
Apparently, it is integral that one watch Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me to make sense of any of the new episodes, and like the failure of a person that I am, I haven’t even seen it. So, even I have some catching up to do before this premieres. Again, I am intrigued, excited, and will most like be deeply perplexed. C’est la vie.
My whole existence is just waiting for the next new show to start when another one ends. Sure, there are more pressing things going on, but it feels wonderful to be just be genuinely excited for a thing. It truly does.
So, mark your calendars so as not to miss what is sure to be some incredible and thought-provoking new TV.
Happy watching! xx