Do you remember the last time you did something because you were caught in a majorly emotionally charged storm? Like you were just so overwhelmed and consumed that maybe you went on a little rampage. Maybe you threatened to punch someone, drank a little too much, ate way too much, had some regrettable sexual relations, or just cut out the middle man entirely and directly caused yourself pain because you were so overwhelmed you were willing to do anything to get a grasp at some peace and control?
No? Just me? Okay.
But really though, we get a lot of bullshit thrown at us and it’s hard to overcome it. We get so run down trying to meet all of our obligations and expectations for the world that sometimes we forget the control that we have and engage in some pretty self-destructive acts. Between school, work, and all the people around me that I love and need to maintain relationships with, plus everything that comes with each territory… I get overwhelmed. How can you not expect me to get stressed out and eat an entire bag of Cheetos? With Nutella… And some wine…
After we do something regrettable to counteract the emotional breakdown that we’re having, there’s usually some shame that we’re hit with. It sucks. Period point blank. You feel terrible about the fact that you were thrown some type of seriously emotionally charged situation, and instead of tackling it head on, you throw up the deuces and did something that you wish you didn’t do, regardless of how serious it was.
I keep a post it note next to where I sleep that helps me get through those rough patches. It says, “Self- destructive act: when a woman actively takes away from herself or her power”. It reminds that whatever I just did was me simply forgetting that I’m in control. I got it, I’m powerful, and I’m capable. Whatever just happened was me forgetting all of those things, but now it’s present in my head, and I’m ready to handle the anger, sadness, or disappointment that I was feeling in the first place. I hope that the next time you’re ready to call your ex (for a reason) because your current boo messed up and you’re beyond hurt, binge because you failed something and feel like an idiot, or think about doing anything bad to yourself because someone hurt you and you don’t know how to deal with the pain that you’re feeling, that you think of this: You are powerful, in control, and completely capable of feeling all of the hurt thrown at you and rising right above it like a queen. It’ll still hurt, but knowing that you kicked it to the curb… completely worth it.
Meditate, read some inspiring quotes from badass women that have made waves, buy a bag of ice and throw it at stuff while you scream profane words, or rip up an old phone book. Recognize the emotions, feel them, channel them, and thank them. Learn from them and let them make you stronger.