Whether you’re still on your college campus taking a summer course, checking out cuties at your internship, or chatting up an old fling in your hometown, chances are you want to go on dates this summer. When you’re single, it’s all about having options to choose from, a.k.a: playing the field.
This article is a guide to keeping your options open and having fun, not breaking hearts. Playing the field is a way to end up in a relationship with someone worth your time above the rest. By maximizing chances and opportunities, you will find one guy you like the best. Here’s how to play it smart!
Go outside of your comfort zone. One of the first things you need to do if you want to play the field is overcome anxiety when it comes to dating. For example, if you become nervous about the idea of texting a guy first, then text two or possibly more. Doubling down is actually a great way to get past the jitters. You also increase the likelihood of multiple responses. If one meet-up situation doesn’t work out, then there’s someone else. Believe in yourself and be confident. Take risks!
Take advantage of social opportunities. There are lots of social opportunities in the summer. Don’t stay home too often on the weekends, even if you’re tired. If you’re invited to a party, then go, especially if you don’t think you’ll know too many people. It’s just another chance to meet someone new, and leave with new numbers in your contact list. Do it!
Be open. Don’t be too afraid to ask a guy out. It’s not illegal to do that, and if he’s shy, you could be doing him a favor, in the case that he likes you. If you do it in a subtle feminine way by indicating interest, he might even take the lead. And when first date opportunities come around and guys ask you out, be open to the experience. There is always a balance between being selective and careful (good) and being too picky (bad). Not being picky means giving nice guys a chance. The cover of the book doesn’t always tell you what it’s really about, according to the old adage. Don’t judge!
Don’t chase guys. There’s a paradox in the dating world that not everyone knows about. It revolves around human nature. Sometimes when you are over-the-top about showing interest and make yourself extremely available to your guy(s), they will start to pull away. This doesn’t mean you should be any less affectionate or stop initiating communication. People who always play hard to get will ultimately end up alone. It’s generally easiest for dates to evolve when both parties are aware of the other’s romantic interest. Here’s the method to the madness: YOU DON’T NEED TO CHASE GUYS TO GET THEM TO LIKE YOU! So, be aware of how you act. No guy likes a clingy girl, unless he’s super-insecure in himself. Just be yourself and let the situation play out as it may.
Don’t invest too quickly in one guy. The best way to refrain from getting hurt is to not invest yourself emotionally in one person. In order for a relationship to be special, you need to invest a certain amount of energy in someone and vice versa… Just not too quickly. Life happens and situations change– a family emergency, a busy work schedule, lots of homework, another girl, and bad timing are all occurrences that can come up. The initial phases of dating are uncertain, so it’s best to relax and enjoy the moment. You can’t always expect a relationship to develop. There’s a cliché but true quote that states: “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it was real. If it doesn’t, it never was.” When a guy shows you class, treats you with respect, and indicates he wants a relationship, then invest, if you feel the same.
“Act like a lady, think like a man.” In case you haven’t already noticed, men and women are different. So, try to create some understanding about the way guys think. In the words of Steve Harvey, “Men respect standards–get some!”
Master the opening line. In order to play the field, you need to become a good conversationalist. Be fun, witty, and interesting. Sharing honest opinions, telling jokes, and not taking yourself too seriously gives you positive attention. Even if you’re naturally shy, try to become more comfortable in social situations because this will also make guys feel more comfortable when conversing with you. Banter is fun, so create it in your love life. Check out my nonchalant pickup lines in this article for more tips!
Where would your ideal guy hang out? Step outside of your usual way of thinking in regards to where you’d meet the man of your dreams. If you’re the artsy type, you might meet someone who interests you at a coffee shop, book store, or music club. If you’re sporty, you might meet someone who interests you at the gym, a park, or at an athletic event. Thinking strategically like this will increase your chances of meeting someone you like and can connect with. Score!
Be careful not to be shallow. You need to be careful when a casual dating situation seems to be turning serious. In this case, dating other guys at the same time would be disrespectful to a dating partner who’s more promising. If he finds out that you’re dating other guys, he might feel hurt. Worse, he might move on. Remember, being involved with multiple guys at once is complicated–forgetting names, scheduling conflicts, and jealousy. You don’t want that. Once you think the “DTR” (Define the Relationship) talk is coming soon, stop dating other guys! When you’re exclusive, cheating is a no-no. Be wise and classy!
Playing the field seems like a “guy thing” to most people, but girls can do it too! Dating more that one guy can be super-fun and done in a classy way. When you have multiple guys to choose from, based on compatibility and interest levels, then you can end up in a relationship with someone awesome. Or, if you’re not looking for that, it’s still pretty fun to learn about yourself and see how guys tick!
Summer is a great time for dating, so dive in and start playing the field.